Talking about people, talking about events and talking about ideas.
Well the saying goes about the different minds doing different things. Naturally it can be seen that people and events takes popularity.That is all the newspaper do and that is most popular at social networks. It has been said and I have seen the proof that the best way to get someone to talk is to ask about themselves.It may be due to ego or maybe it is the topic most familiar but the fact is it get the conversation going.
The upper class of people is suppose to talk about ideas and it is suppose to put them higher up the ladder. Definitely so brain wise but are they better? Is the cleverer better? Does the more intellectual belongs to an elite group? Should we all aim for that?
Or
Is simplicity a sign of peace and mere serenity? In many occasions, they don't seem to feel a lacking and what you don't see as lacking, you never miss it.Having said that what about those who are mentally challenged. Are they happier? Do we want to be like that?
What is child-like innocence? What is childish innocence?
Monday, December 19, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Looking Forward
With all that went on for the year, there are things that I had to postpone or put aside.With the arrival of 2012, I look forward to going back to some of these things and also pick up a few along the way
My reading has definitely been put aside. Unfortunately hubby is not as much into this as I am. The home library is set up and the public library has so many new books. Maybe I could get him into reading magazines for a start especially on food and garden. As for myself my reading list will definitely includes a deeper understanding into my faith.
I want to test out more recipes and get into the adventure of cooking.This I know he would enjoy as he enjoys cooking for the family.
I have never like gardening though I love greenery and flowers. But I would like to pick it up and see how far I could go.For a starter I should try to maintain what the gardener has done and then go from there.
I have been blessed with a good wide circle of friends. It is time I should plan out a better timetable to meet up and just enjoy their company.
Lastly, travelling has been at the back of our heads now that the house is done up.I pray that good health will allow me to do so .
As we travel and move around, I hope to enhance the aesthetic part of our abode with our shopping.
Not much the list but not little too. We will see.
My reading has definitely been put aside. Unfortunately hubby is not as much into this as I am. The home library is set up and the public library has so many new books. Maybe I could get him into reading magazines for a start especially on food and garden. As for myself my reading list will definitely includes a deeper understanding into my faith.
I want to test out more recipes and get into the adventure of cooking.This I know he would enjoy as he enjoys cooking for the family.
I have never like gardening though I love greenery and flowers. But I would like to pick it up and see how far I could go.For a starter I should try to maintain what the gardener has done and then go from there.
I have been blessed with a good wide circle of friends. It is time I should plan out a better timetable to meet up and just enjoy their company.
Lastly, travelling has been at the back of our heads now that the house is done up.I pray that good health will allow me to do so .
As we travel and move around, I hope to enhance the aesthetic part of our abode with our shopping.
Not much the list but not little too. We will see.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is at different time to different people. To me I would say this is a good time as the end of the calender year of 2011 approaches.
After I rededicate myself to the Lord, my view changes too.I learn to be more deeply appreciative towards the same things. After serious illnesses, I am grateful I could stand up and lead a normal life and look after myself. After a series of problems with the dentists, I thank Him every morning as I brush my teeth that they are all in tact and I could chew. Looking at landslides and floods, I am grateful that my house is intact. Reading the news about the young people today, I am so ever proud of my three children.
This year has been a year of happenings
Daddy stopped work,
for the first time, Audrey wasn't home with us at Chinese New Year,
House was totally renovated,
Edmund graduated from medical school
Popo passed away
We venture into the financial world to give us a new interest
I had a chance to see many people with a different view.
We moved into an apartment for 6 months giving me a total new experience
With the house done up to what we wanted, hubby and me are enjoying every part of it. It is no grand mansion but it has a patio for us to enjoy our simple meals together, a big enough TV to watch the astro programme as we relax, a kitchen comfortable for us to bake, cook for our children and all we love, air condition if we ever feel the discomfort, a cosy room as we retire into the night. Yes this home that the Lord gave us is definitely our paradise.PTL
W have finance enough to sustain our prudent expenditure. With the little investment adventure we have in one commodity business, it keeps us alert, active and supply a small income.
We boast of no great material gain nor any power or recognition but to us, we are already amongst the richest people. We are peaceful and we are thankful. We enjoyed the time together, all the time that we missed as we hurried through life with our career and family the last 30 years.
At last, we are learning to breathe normally again with His grace.
Of course there are things that I see and are unhappy about. But I have learn to worry less, let go and trust.I know not how long more all these blessings will last or when He will decide for me to move on (OK I agree I am paranoid about death but I have accepted it as something that will come) but I am at peace.
Other things that saddens me are when my loved ones are hurt,injustice being done, hatred and jeolousy prevailed and saying goodbye to mu little gil as she leav for Glasgow pricks me deep. But all things come to pass.I learn to pray even harder and to pray more frequently to overcome these.
I also saw that even as time goes by, even decades, people character do not change. Physically they may have changed so much that we can't recognise them, but underneath all the, people are still the same.Sometimes I even detect feelings and way of thoughts that are so steadfast. There were things I forgot about people but the minute we interact, all memories come back.
After I rededicate myself to the Lord, my view changes too.I learn to be more deeply appreciative towards the same things. After serious illnesses, I am grateful I could stand up and lead a normal life and look after myself. After a series of problems with the dentists, I thank Him every morning as I brush my teeth that they are all in tact and I could chew. Looking at landslides and floods, I am grateful that my house is intact. Reading the news about the young people today, I am so ever proud of my three children.
This year has been a year of happenings
Daddy stopped work,
for the first time, Audrey wasn't home with us at Chinese New Year,
House was totally renovated,
Edmund graduated from medical school
Popo passed away
We venture into the financial world to give us a new interest
I had a chance to see many people with a different view.
We moved into an apartment for 6 months giving me a total new experience
With the house done up to what we wanted, hubby and me are enjoying every part of it. It is no grand mansion but it has a patio for us to enjoy our simple meals together, a big enough TV to watch the astro programme as we relax, a kitchen comfortable for us to bake, cook for our children and all we love, air condition if we ever feel the discomfort, a cosy room as we retire into the night. Yes this home that the Lord gave us is definitely our paradise.PTL
W have finance enough to sustain our prudent expenditure. With the little investment adventure we have in one commodity business, it keeps us alert, active and supply a small income.
We boast of no great material gain nor any power or recognition but to us, we are already amongst the richest people. We are peaceful and we are thankful. We enjoyed the time together, all the time that we missed as we hurried through life with our career and family the last 30 years.
At last, we are learning to breathe normally again with His grace.
Of course there are things that I see and are unhappy about. But I have learn to worry less, let go and trust.I know not how long more all these blessings will last or when He will decide for me to move on (OK I agree I am paranoid about death but I have accepted it as something that will come) but I am at peace.
Other things that saddens me are when my loved ones are hurt,injustice being done, hatred and jeolousy prevailed and saying goodbye to mu little gil as she leav for Glasgow pricks me deep. But all things come to pass.I learn to pray even harder and to pray more frequently to overcome these.
I also saw that even as time goes by, even decades, people character do not change. Physically they may have changed so much that we can't recognise them, but underneath all the, people are still the same.Sometimes I even detect feelings and way of thoughts that are so steadfast. There were things I forgot about people but the minute we interact, all memories come back.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The stillness of the night
There are many things I enjoyed as I retire. One of them is the slowing down of the pace of life thus allowing me to
sit and reflect,
see and react,
be still and praise ,
feel thankful for the many things in life
And of the beauty of writing a blog is that I can just let my feelings flow. with no need to plan the sequence and check the presentation. Oh the freedom of stress to write it well. :)
The last 2 months have been a series of meeting up with old friends, renewing friendship thus recalling memories, observing and reflecting. It brought about a whole new lot of thoughts as suddenly, I am opened to so many lives, observing lives over a span of 30 to 40 years,
Then I began to feel more thankful and grateful for the things I am given. A good life, a roof over my head, food on my table, a loving husband, good children, a life free from serious illnesses. More important an ability to love others and to feel loved by family, friends, acquaintances and more important by Him. Without my God, how could all these be possible.
I begin to truly realise what is meant by His will, not mine. I truly see what it meant by going with what He has planned. He has trully planned our lives even as we were formed in the womb. I realied once again why He say to just love as I see what it brings. The life He gave us on earth is so temporary and so ever short but He has already given me so very much. Once again we should not waste precious time to hate, to harbour bad thoughts , jealousy, bitterness, anger. Why do we waste so much time giving up all the good things He has given us to chase for things like power, recognition and material gain We do our part, and let Him do the rest. If power, material and recognition is meant for us, it will be there by His will.
I enjoy the chance to wake up in the stillness of the night, praise Him and reflect. It is something magical about listening to the quietness, not worrying about getting enough rest so that I could rush off the next morning, to just spend time with Him. Many mornings, I wanted toget up and pen my thoughts but just does not want to leave His cosiness. Sadly the many thoughts lost their ways once the briskness of the morning sets in.(ha ha ha even this morning, I have to overcome the sighing of my lovely husband) This is another of His gifts to me in my 50s. He gave me strength and health to go on with my hectic life the last 40 years and now He gave me mere ability to sit, ponder and enjoy His presence .
I lost my Alumni member card( I idid not even realised it), a kind and lovely soul found it and returned it to the Alumni office. The office took the trouble to keep it and send it together with my yearly report. To them whom I will never know who they are, God bless you.
And now to receive the breaking of my magical stillness and go into the awakened world around me. Good morning to all.
sit and reflect,
see and react,
be still and praise ,
feel thankful for the many things in life
And of the beauty of writing a blog is that I can just let my feelings flow. with no need to plan the sequence and check the presentation. Oh the freedom of stress to write it well. :)
The last 2 months have been a series of meeting up with old friends, renewing friendship thus recalling memories, observing and reflecting. It brought about a whole new lot of thoughts as suddenly, I am opened to so many lives, observing lives over a span of 30 to 40 years,
Then I began to feel more thankful and grateful for the things I am given. A good life, a roof over my head, food on my table, a loving husband, good children, a life free from serious illnesses. More important an ability to love others and to feel loved by family, friends, acquaintances and more important by Him. Without my God, how could all these be possible.
I begin to truly realise what is meant by His will, not mine. I truly see what it meant by going with what He has planned. He has trully planned our lives even as we were formed in the womb. I realied once again why He say to just love as I see what it brings. The life He gave us on earth is so temporary and so ever short but He has already given me so very much. Once again we should not waste precious time to hate, to harbour bad thoughts , jealousy, bitterness, anger. Why do we waste so much time giving up all the good things He has given us to chase for things like power, recognition and material gain We do our part, and let Him do the rest. If power, material and recognition is meant for us, it will be there by His will.
I enjoy the chance to wake up in the stillness of the night, praise Him and reflect. It is something magical about listening to the quietness, not worrying about getting enough rest so that I could rush off the next morning, to just spend time with Him. Many mornings, I wanted toget up and pen my thoughts but just does not want to leave His cosiness. Sadly the many thoughts lost their ways once the briskness of the morning sets in.(ha ha ha even this morning, I have to overcome the sighing of my lovely husband) This is another of His gifts to me in my 50s. He gave me strength and health to go on with my hectic life the last 40 years and now He gave me mere ability to sit, ponder and enjoy His presence .
I lost my Alumni member card( I idid not even realised it), a kind and lovely soul found it and returned it to the Alumni office. The office took the trouble to keep it and send it together with my yearly report. To them whom I will never know who they are, God bless you.
And now to receive the breaking of my magical stillness and go into the awakened world around me. Good morning to all.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
cheese dessert, my friend's style
This is a recipe a fellow teacher came up with after spending some time in Italy. She made it, we ate it, loved it, asked her for the recipe but no one knows what it is. But it has some similarity to tiramisu.
A packet of xhortbread biscuit, cut inti smaller pieces.
dipped in strong nescafe and lined on a 2 inch deep plate
Soften 250 g of cream cheese to room temperature,
beat it with 1/2 cup of whipping cream,
add 1 egg
1/2 a cup of caster sugar (or less if u don't have a sweet tooth)
a few drops of vanilla essence
Pour it over the biscuit. chill it as cold as u can but not frozen,
Before serving, sift cocoa powder over it.
Warning, it is lovely to taste but serve only a small portion as it tends to be very overwhelming
A packet of xhortbread biscuit, cut inti smaller pieces.
dipped in strong nescafe and lined on a 2 inch deep plate
Soften 250 g of cream cheese to room temperature,
beat it with 1/2 cup of whipping cream,
add 1 egg
1/2 a cup of caster sugar (or less if u don't have a sweet tooth)
a few drops of vanilla essence
Pour it over the biscuit. chill it as cold as u can but not frozen,
Before serving, sift cocoa powder over it.
Warning, it is lovely to taste but serve only a small portion as it tends to be very overwhelming
This is a savoury biscuit I like to bake. It is not sweet so it need an acquired taste for it.
Actually it s just pastry
Rub 100 g of self raising flour with
50 g of butter
add a bit of water to bind
add another 50 to 100 g of cheddar cheese
salt , pepper and sesame seeds
Roll out half cm thick,cut in shapes you like( I usually just cut then into 4 cm stripes)
bake till slightly brown, coll and keep in airtight container.
Actually it s just pastry
Rub 100 g of self raising flour with
50 g of butter
add a bit of water to bind
add another 50 to 100 g of cheddar cheese
salt , pepper and sesame seeds
Roll out half cm thick,cut in shapes you like( I usually just cut then into 4 cm stripes)
bake till slightly brown, coll and keep in airtight container.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Dear Father in heaven,
I have plenty to be thankful.
Thank You for the blessings You rain on me.
a beautiful family,
a good and loving husband,
a roof over my head,
ability to move and to love my loved ones
food on my table,
peace of mind to sleep at night
You kept my loved ones safe and You guide them in their every act
Thank You for being in my mouth when I talk, in my eyes when I see and my ears when I listen, in my heart when I decides; guiding me in every way.
I have plenty to be thankful.
Thank You for the blessings You rain on me.
a beautiful family,
a good and loving husband,
a roof over my head,
ability to move and to love my loved ones
food on my table,
peace of mind to sleep at night
You kept my loved ones safe and You guide them in their every act
Thank You for being in my mouth when I talk, in my eyes when I see and my ears when I listen, in my heart when I decides; guiding me in every way.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Prayer
dear Father in heaven, holy is thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give me my daily bread,forgive my sins as i have forgiven others,distance me fr evil and all temptations.
I prayed and prayed. Yes this is another time I feel the emptiness and the loneliness. No I am not doubting You hearing me. I am not questioning Your will. Just that I am tired ,tired like a dying man, For years I am in pain. For years I have been bloody. I have developed so many phobias that I am becoming a burden to others.I don't want to die a bloody or painful death but then it is still Your will not mine.
I pray and I ask, I plead and then I pray. I am not angry and I am not questioning. They don't seem to see the point. I am at peace but tired, very tired.Maybe I shouldn't but I can't help it.
All this I pray in Jesus mighty name. amen
I prayed and prayed. Yes this is another time I feel the emptiness and the loneliness. No I am not doubting You hearing me. I am not questioning Your will. Just that I am tired ,tired like a dying man, For years I am in pain. For years I have been bloody. I have developed so many phobias that I am becoming a burden to others.I don't want to die a bloody or painful death but then it is still Your will not mine.
I pray and I ask, I plead and then I pray. I am not angry and I am not questioning. They don't seem to see the point. I am at peace but tired, very tired.Maybe I shouldn't but I can't help it.
All this I pray in Jesus mighty name. amen
Monday, September 19, 2011
Another 3.30 am
Look like 3.30 am is a common time for me to blog lately. Truly I can't sleep. Things and thoughts fly through my mind like jet planes and causes a haze so thick and I know I need to put it to rest. But it is never easy.
So many things go through my thoughts that I know not where to start. She left and I prayed that she is OK at this transition time.
He worked till he knows not time and day what more eat and I know he is tired. And pray for his physical strength and his faith.Gong through his pain and not being there physically to help, which mum is at peace.
My health is playing up with me. An old problem has to surface and insist on giving me pain, lost and concern. Again I pray.I know He hears and I believe He has His reasons but I am tired. I hold on fast and tight but I am tired.
A shock is a shock. It does not come any softer just because you are more experience and ready. From day one, you never let me rest and I wonder when can I do so. It is not that I don't want to let you go but I have my doubts just as any normal mother do. I pray as I have been praying for years .You hear ; You will respond at Your time but I am getting weaker.
If there are times in one's life that one is pushed to the wall, I have plenty of those.I surrender and I commit to You but in the meantime,can I rest.Every time I want to rest You shook me up.How long can I take this? How long do You want it to last? I am tired. I need Your strength. Again I know You know. What next?
So many things go through my thoughts that I know not where to start. She left and I prayed that she is OK at this transition time.
He worked till he knows not time and day what more eat and I know he is tired. And pray for his physical strength and his faith.Gong through his pain and not being there physically to help, which mum is at peace.
My health is playing up with me. An old problem has to surface and insist on giving me pain, lost and concern. Again I pray.I know He hears and I believe He has His reasons but I am tired. I hold on fast and tight but I am tired.
A shock is a shock. It does not come any softer just because you are more experience and ready. From day one, you never let me rest and I wonder when can I do so. It is not that I don't want to let you go but I have my doubts just as any normal mother do. I pray as I have been praying for years .You hear ; You will respond at Your time but I am getting weaker.
If there are times in one's life that one is pushed to the wall, I have plenty of those.I surrender and I commit to You but in the meantime,can I rest.Every time I want to rest You shook me up.How long can I take this? How long do You want it to last? I am tired. I need Your strength. Again I know You know. What next?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
3.30 am thoughts
Maybe it is God's way to help me handle it. It is less than half a month to my sweetiepie's leaving for Glasgow and He knows how emotional I get every time I say goodbye to any of my children far or near, long or short. The renovations and all the activities that comes along with it gives me little time to ponder over her leaving. It also leaves me minimal time to wonder how my son is fairing in his new posting.
It is time like this, way pass midnight when eyes and body are tired but the mind refuse to sleep that I start counting days and thinking, feeling and reflecting.
The mind shoot from flights to dinners to renovation problems to moving complications.
After sometime and after a few days, I just feel tired, physically and emotionally.It is time like this that again I want to say 'stop, wait' but knowing very well that it is not to be so.Then I again pray fervently and then I think of things past and present, home, family, people I love, my future, my health, my faith and then I tell myself to stop, seriously stop. And so I stop.
It is time like this, way pass midnight when eyes and body are tired but the mind refuse to sleep that I start counting days and thinking, feeling and reflecting.
The mind shoot from flights to dinners to renovation problems to moving complications.
After sometime and after a few days, I just feel tired, physically and emotionally.It is time like this that again I want to say 'stop, wait' but knowing very well that it is not to be so.Then I again pray fervently and then I think of things past and present, home, family, people I love, my future, my health, my faith and then I tell myself to stop, seriously stop. And so I stop.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Tunnels
In the journey of life, one goes through lots of tunnels of darkness.I went through many and many a time wonder why I seem to have so many.Is it really that I have more than others or is it that I am more light sensitive than others?
It is said that in the tunnel of darkness He will be there to carry me through. I believe He does but while I am there it is scary as one really could not see the end of it. One only trust that He is there and trust that there is an end to the tunnel.Because in pitch darkness there is no way one can move except on faith and if one do not move, one will never be out of the tunnel because the tunnel will never move on it's own.
So as I move from one tunnel to another,I move in faith.I thank God when I am in the light as I wonder when is it the next tunnel will come by. Without fail it will come. And as I enter it, again I see no light and no end.Again I know that only He can bring on the light when He sees deem right.Again I walk in faith praying that I will not give up.
Sometimes one walks alone and sometimes one walk with loved ones. When that happen, one also need to strong for the other one. At times like that, one needs to be even stronger in faith.
I see no light now but I need to believe that there is an end and again close my eyes, hold each others hands and walk and walk and walk,
It is said that in the tunnel of darkness He will be there to carry me through. I believe He does but while I am there it is scary as one really could not see the end of it. One only trust that He is there and trust that there is an end to the tunnel.Because in pitch darkness there is no way one can move except on faith and if one do not move, one will never be out of the tunnel because the tunnel will never move on it's own.
So as I move from one tunnel to another,I move in faith.I thank God when I am in the light as I wonder when is it the next tunnel will come by. Without fail it will come. And as I enter it, again I see no light and no end.Again I know that only He can bring on the light when He sees deem right.Again I walk in faith praying that I will not give up.
Sometimes one walks alone and sometimes one walk with loved ones. When that happen, one also need to strong for the other one. At times like that, one needs to be even stronger in faith.
I see no light now but I need to believe that there is an end and again close my eyes, hold each others hands and walk and walk and walk,
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Pain
I am but a mother.grabbing on to time knowing very well it will slip and go as it should be. Three children and many times over, if I was expecting it to be easier, less intense, not as painful; I am very much mistaken.As a matter of fact, the pain started earlier, just as bad and just as painful as the very first time 8 years ago.
When the pain was most intense during the birth of my last child, I remember telling my doctor I can't take it , I wasn't ready. HE told me then that the baby won't wait and it has to come to pass. Look like it is the same for every searing pain onwards whatever the cause may be. And reality tells that it is not the last.
So how do I handle it this time and times to come? Do all mothers go through this?
When the pain was most intense during the birth of my last child, I remember telling my doctor I can't take it , I wasn't ready. HE told me then that the baby won't wait and it has to come to pass. Look like it is the same for every searing pain onwards whatever the cause may be. And reality tells that it is not the last.
So how do I handle it this time and times to come? Do all mothers go through this?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Her
How do I express my feelings?Love? Yes and no. yes as I care. No as I don't feel the pain
Memories! Unfortunately more unpleasant than pleasant.
Grateful? yes for the duties she perform. Unfortunately it is just duties and not out of love.
Others who are related:
At times I could understand how they feel. Other times, sad for her that she evokes only those feelings.I guess it is more sadness for her than anger.
Also their thoughts and actions are far different from mine. No right, no wrong but odd.
Just how sincere and fair? But not for me to ponder.
He, I saw a side of him I should know but never dwell in. But then again, there is no mathematical equation to solve it.
How different will my life be compared to hers?Will it be better or does it matter ultimately as it is His to see deem fit?
p/s Not being able to sleep at 4 am in the morning make me think too much!
Memories! Unfortunately more unpleasant than pleasant.
Grateful? yes for the duties she perform. Unfortunately it is just duties and not out of love.
Others who are related:
At times I could understand how they feel. Other times, sad for her that she evokes only those feelings.I guess it is more sadness for her than anger.
Also their thoughts and actions are far different from mine. No right, no wrong but odd.
Just how sincere and fair? But not for me to ponder.
He, I saw a side of him I should know but never dwell in. But then again, there is no mathematical equation to solve it.
How different will my life be compared to hers?Will it be better or does it matter ultimately as it is His to see deem fit?
p/s Not being able to sleep at 4 am in the morning make me think too much!
4 am Thoughts
Phew!
That has been a long long time since I last blog.As anticipated, has been a very very busy year to date.(remember talking about it right after CNY)
Renovation is top on the list. It is nearly completed but still a long way more to go before it can be called a home it is meant to be.The process brought about physical exhaustion, mental anguish, personal satisfaction, thankfulness to Him for providing the people and the means and everything else. Now is the time to look forward to moving back, settling in,filling in the gaps and then moving on to other things that has been put aside and postponed the last 8 months.
Next, sweetie pie has been back 2 months and is already preparing to leave again.Where did the days go?Enjoyed every moment I can with her and wished it was more.This time round the months will be more before I get to hug her again.With the eldest boy, I looked forward to our Europe trip where I could see him in December that year.This time round, no plans made.
The first is a plus, the second a negative. Do they cancel out? NO. unfortunately life and emotions are just not mathematics.A positive is a positive. and a negative will remain a negative and they will never met.
That has been a long long time since I last blog.As anticipated, has been a very very busy year to date.(remember talking about it right after CNY)
Renovation is top on the list. It is nearly completed but still a long way more to go before it can be called a home it is meant to be.The process brought about physical exhaustion, mental anguish, personal satisfaction, thankfulness to Him for providing the people and the means and everything else. Now is the time to look forward to moving back, settling in,filling in the gaps and then moving on to other things that has been put aside and postponed the last 8 months.
Next, sweetie pie has been back 2 months and is already preparing to leave again.Where did the days go?Enjoyed every moment I can with her and wished it was more.This time round the months will be more before I get to hug her again.With the eldest boy, I looked forward to our Europe trip where I could see him in December that year.This time round, no plans made.
The first is a plus, the second a negative. Do they cancel out? NO. unfortunately life and emotions are just not mathematics.A positive is a positive. and a negative will remain a negative and they will never met.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Again
In the dark of the night, the feeling of fear.
The mixed feeling of praise, thanks then numbness
Why the feelings?
I asked and I pray.
I had to agree I am tired.
Tired of repetition.
Deja Vu.
This is not the first and I am sure it isn't the last.
I don't want to wonder, I
don't want to ponder.,
I am tired.
I want little
But maybe it is too much.
I want to rest
Just let it be.
The mixed feeling of praise, thanks then numbness
Why the feelings?
I asked and I pray.
I had to agree I am tired.
Tired of repetition.
Deja Vu.
This is not the first and I am sure it isn't the last.
I don't want to wonder, I
don't want to ponder.,
I am tired.
I want little
But maybe it is too much.
I want to rest
Just let it be.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Feelings
When you see someone sick, you feel sad,
When someone doesn't appreciate your good deed, you feel disappointed,
When you see a loved one disappointed, you only want to hug and console
When siblings fight, you pray that you will not be the parents,
When closed ones are sceptical of each other, you wish others will not worsen the situation,
When you are not suppose to butt in, you feel so helpless
When things go wrong one after another, you ask for patience
Oh what an assortment of feelings!
When someone doesn't appreciate your good deed, you feel disappointed,
When you see a loved one disappointed, you only want to hug and console
When siblings fight, you pray that you will not be the parents,
When closed ones are sceptical of each other, you wish others will not worsen the situation,
When you are not suppose to butt in, you feel so helpless
When things go wrong one after another, you ask for patience
Oh what an assortment of feelings!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Praise the Lord
Another long and tiring day. Oh My gosh, I can imagine some individuals' glare! A retired lady of leisure saying that!!!
While the renovations is going on, we have to be ready to go shopping with our renovation manager. We have been to tiles shops (I think ) three times, gone shopping for toilet fittings twice each lasting half a day, looked through endless designs for the kitchen cabinets, fittings, wardrobes, colour plates, endless trips to the library to get ideas, yam cha sessions with manager to discuss and finalise ideas. Not forgetting reading quotations and quotations and going through bank accounts to see where the finance is coming from.
Every time, I remember to say my thanks that hubby is retired and alongside to make decisions. I am so thankful too that at times when we are so tired and was saying 'whatever lah', my manager is still so dedicated going through suggestions after suggestions( until he himself forgets some ideas that we agreed upon) thinking through the night on what he should do (honestly, he mails us at 3 am and 5 am). Asked him if he ever sleeps, he said he go for power naps!
Colour plates has been flying through the emails too and he takes the trouble to show us houses he did in Melawati and Kota Damansara and send photos through his phones Many a time, hubby and me were ready to let him make the decisions and he still have energy to go on.Obviously it is his passion.
While all this is going on, I got interested in some investment ideas.I went into it as I always think that if I only live on my savings and fixed deposits interest, I can't even overcome the inflation rates what more survive! After all life is about taking some risks. After hubby retired, he was worried with my ideas and sat down to investigate and probe. Thank goodness, he too is won over. With that, we are busy minimum 2 to 3 days a week.
I too want to get back to my christian courses online which was interrupted when I was without Internet for more than a month.
Phew, I am tired but very very happy feeling blessed with His grace. I really really couldn't stop saying thanks and praising Him. Even when I couldn't sleep at night due to his snoring, I thank God for giving me my hubby! : ) Isn't it fantastic?
While the renovations is going on, we have to be ready to go shopping with our renovation manager. We have been to tiles shops (I think ) three times, gone shopping for toilet fittings twice each lasting half a day, looked through endless designs for the kitchen cabinets, fittings, wardrobes, colour plates, endless trips to the library to get ideas, yam cha sessions with manager to discuss and finalise ideas. Not forgetting reading quotations and quotations and going through bank accounts to see where the finance is coming from.
Every time, I remember to say my thanks that hubby is retired and alongside to make decisions. I am so thankful too that at times when we are so tired and was saying 'whatever lah', my manager is still so dedicated going through suggestions after suggestions( until he himself forgets some ideas that we agreed upon) thinking through the night on what he should do (honestly, he mails us at 3 am and 5 am). Asked him if he ever sleeps, he said he go for power naps!
Colour plates has been flying through the emails too and he takes the trouble to show us houses he did in Melawati and Kota Damansara and send photos through his phones Many a time, hubby and me were ready to let him make the decisions and he still have energy to go on.Obviously it is his passion.
While all this is going on, I got interested in some investment ideas.I went into it as I always think that if I only live on my savings and fixed deposits interest, I can't even overcome the inflation rates what more survive! After all life is about taking some risks. After hubby retired, he was worried with my ideas and sat down to investigate and probe. Thank goodness, he too is won over. With that, we are busy minimum 2 to 3 days a week.
I too want to get back to my christian courses online which was interrupted when I was without Internet for more than a month.
Phew, I am tired but very very happy feeling blessed with His grace. I really really couldn't stop saying thanks and praising Him. Even when I couldn't sleep at night due to his snoring, I thank God for giving me my hubby! : ) Isn't it fantastic?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mothers' Day
When I first became a mother, my husband celebrated mothers' day for me. I remember him writing on a card telling me that my son is still young. One day, when the children are older they will celebrate mothers' day for me and thus he can go into the background for the day.
Fast forward a quarter of a century, today I have three children age 27, 24 and 21.So how did I celebrate mothers' day this year? My second child who has just got his first salary wanted to 'surprise ' me with a bouquet of flowers. Being a practical mother, and a 'too smart' one, I didn't want him to spend so much especially when I don't even have a vase to put the flowers in my temporary home now (so say daddy...... he hasn't faded into the background) So daddy bought a cake on the son's behalf and we shot down to Muar since the son from Muar couldn't come back to KL due to work commitments.
Eldest boy paid for lunch and dinner ( so daddy save the day's food bill. ha ha ha . I guess he faded off in that sense)
The youngest is studying in UK so obviously, at best she could only be on skype. What more with her finals on next week. It was good that she could even give us the half an hour when I cut the cake.
So how is today compared to the same day approximately 25 years ago? I loved the children, hugged them and kiss them as much as I did all through the years. I loved without reservations and I am as proud of them as I was 25 years ago. I thank God for the three of them and I enjoyed and treasured all the days and minutes I have with them. I was well aware of the empty nest syndrome even as far back as 5 years ago.
As any mother does, I went through their ups and downs and sat for every exams they went through. and felt the pain and disappointments with them as well as their happiness.
Today, though I love them so very much, I had to remind myself to let go of them as they spread their wings.I shouldn't and can't cuddle them as they cross every barrier but could only pray a mother's prayer more and more fervently.I need to not suffocate them but rather look calm while I tear my hair out. (What a skill!)
I guess with those thoughts in mind, I couldn't stand up at church today when they honour mothers. Without them by my side I am not a mother. I am just a lady who brought up 3 kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers at all stages of your life.
Fast forward a quarter of a century, today I have three children age 27, 24 and 21.So how did I celebrate mothers' day this year? My second child who has just got his first salary wanted to 'surprise ' me with a bouquet of flowers. Being a practical mother, and a 'too smart' one, I didn't want him to spend so much especially when I don't even have a vase to put the flowers in my temporary home now (so say daddy...... he hasn't faded into the background) So daddy bought a cake on the son's behalf and we shot down to Muar since the son from Muar couldn't come back to KL due to work commitments.
Eldest boy paid for lunch and dinner ( so daddy save the day's food bill. ha ha ha . I guess he faded off in that sense)
The youngest is studying in UK so obviously, at best she could only be on skype. What more with her finals on next week. It was good that she could even give us the half an hour when I cut the cake.
So how is today compared to the same day approximately 25 years ago? I loved the children, hugged them and kiss them as much as I did all through the years. I loved without reservations and I am as proud of them as I was 25 years ago. I thank God for the three of them and I enjoyed and treasured all the days and minutes I have with them. I was well aware of the empty nest syndrome even as far back as 5 years ago.
As any mother does, I went through their ups and downs and sat for every exams they went through. and felt the pain and disappointments with them as well as their happiness.
Today, though I love them so very much, I had to remind myself to let go of them as they spread their wings.I shouldn't and can't cuddle them as they cross every barrier but could only pray a mother's prayer more and more fervently.I need to not suffocate them but rather look calm while I tear my hair out. (What a skill!)
I guess with those thoughts in mind, I couldn't stand up at church today when they honour mothers. Without them by my side I am not a mother. I am just a lady who brought up 3 kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers at all stages of your life.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Last two months
Definitely a long absence. Have since moved out of the house, renovations started and looking menacing. Son has graduated with a MBBS and has started work in Muar.
In the last two plus months, emotions and feelings went up and down, worry, happy, concern, comforted, exasperated and settled.
Moving house is not a simple activity what more when it is only for six months thereafter will be going back to a renovated house.Decisions, selections and more decisions and selections.Thank God I had Him and hubby to share the roller coaster ride.
Next read the pastor's book. Felt I knew him better but didn't gave me the comfort I need even though it brought some calm.
Next one is in hospital, one so sick, another down with dengue, yet another with complains and all the negative s with it. Praise the Lord for the peace I still have with all these. The marvel of His love and protection. Prayers help and the comfort of His presence after commiting everything to Him.
In the last two plus months, emotions and feelings went up and down, worry, happy, concern, comforted, exasperated and settled.
Moving house is not a simple activity what more when it is only for six months thereafter will be going back to a renovated house.Decisions, selections and more decisions and selections.Thank God I had Him and hubby to share the roller coaster ride.
Next read the pastor's book. Felt I knew him better but didn't gave me the comfort I need even though it brought some calm.
Next one is in hospital, one so sick, another down with dengue, yet another with complains and all the negative s with it. Praise the Lord for the peace I still have with all these. The marvel of His love and protection. Prayers help and the comfort of His presence after commiting everything to Him.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Butter Cookies
Butter cookies
345 g SCS butter (1 1/2 slab of 250 g) 250 g
8 oz plain flour 150 g
8 oz corn flour 150 g
4 oz icing sugar 75 g
Cream butter and sugar, fold in flour,piped out
Bake in 180 for 20 minutes
345 g SCS butter (1 1/2 slab of 250 g) 250 g
8 oz plain flour 150 g
8 oz corn flour 150 g
4 oz icing sugar 75 g
Cream butter and sugar, fold in flour,piped out
Bake in 180 for 20 minutes
- use good buttery butter
- blend sugar and butter well
- use cups for easy handling
- add vanilla to get rid of flour smell
- pinch of salt is optional
Choc Chip Macadamia Cookies
Recipe for choc chip macadamia cookies
125 g butter
110 g soft brown sugar
3/4 tsp vanilla essence
1 egg
195 g plain flour
3/4 tsp bic of soda
1/4 tsp salt
85 g choc chip
50 g nuts chopped coarsely
Blend butter and sugar. Add ingredients one by one ending with chips and nuts when you just mix
Drop spoonful on tray Bake at 180 till lightly brown or 25 minutes.(average size cookies)
#had used icing sugar before when no brown sugar available.
# sugar amount can be reduced by 10 to 20 g
#used baking powder instead of bic of soda but increase to 1 1/4 tsp
# chips and nuts have always increased to much more than mentioned at the request of children (for chips) and hubby(for nuts)
125 g butter
110 g soft brown sugar
3/4 tsp vanilla essence
1 egg
195 g plain flour
3/4 tsp bic of soda
1/4 tsp salt
85 g choc chip
50 g nuts chopped coarsely
Blend butter and sugar. Add ingredients one by one ending with chips and nuts when you just mix
Drop spoonful on tray Bake at 180 till lightly brown or 25 minutes.(average size cookies)
#had used icing sugar before when no brown sugar available.
# sugar amount can be reduced by 10 to 20 g
#used baking powder instead of bic of soda but increase to 1 1/4 tsp
# chips and nuts have always increased to much more than mentioned at the request of children (for chips) and hubby(for nuts)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Leopards and spots
Leopards doesn't change their spots. How true. People whom you don't meet for years are still the same.Different time, years later, different place but the spots are still unchanged. People 's characters are so much a signature of them.The lambs will still be lambs, the tigers will still be tigers. Only difference is that sometimes we hope the tigers will change to lambs which unfortunately is never possible. Sigh!
...............
CNY came and went off. Though I miss her a lot, I was glad she was well occupied in Glasgow during the period. Ultimately, I just want her to be happy.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
And So It Is
So I know things will be different this year.
So I know it is a time of happenings.
So I know it is talking about changes.
So it is a time of adjustments and acceptance.
I knew it and I knew it months ahead. Nothing that is happening is out of my expectation except some new developments.( Even then they were things I knew could happened and should not be come as a shock)
But it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't change the way I feel.
So I know it is a time of happenings.
So I know it is talking about changes.
So it is a time of adjustments and acceptance.
I knew it and I knew it months ahead. Nothing that is happening is out of my expectation except some new developments.( Even then they were things I knew could happened and should not be come as a shock)
But it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't change the way I feel.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Growing apart
When it was the time for it to happen, it didn't really happened. But now it is noticeable. Yes change is inevitable but couldn't it be drawing nearer rather than further. Maybe deep down I only expected it to be nearer so when there are hints of further, it hurts.
How far will it go? Will it reach a fearful unpleasant distance or is it something temporary?
Did any of my actions activated it ?
Or was it other factors that they have to sort out themselves.
Is it a natural process that they go through but at a different time from others?
Will it change direction later on?
Relatively speaking, I am lucky that there exist other stable ones. So is it His way to wean me off some and get closer to others?
Maybe time will tell. If there are things I am suppose to see and notice, I hope He will open my eyes to it.
How far will it go? Will it reach a fearful unpleasant distance or is it something temporary?
Did any of my actions activated it ?
Or was it other factors that they have to sort out themselves.
Is it a natural process that they go through but at a different time from others?
Will it change direction later on?
Relatively speaking, I am lucky that there exist other stable ones. So is it His way to wean me off some and get closer to others?
Maybe time will tell. If there are things I am suppose to see and notice, I hope He will open my eyes to it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
My 3 Kids
I have every reason to be a proud mum. Ever so often, I hear praises about my children. In school, teachers (with the exception of one kindy teacher, one year 6 teacher who told gory stories in class and a spinster who has a reputation to upkeep :) ) have only good things to say about them, friends always felt that they are good kids. Fair enough teachers have over the years learn to be diplomatic and friends normally do not complain about one's kids. But deep down, I always feel so blessed. I couldn't ask more more.
Academically they are not the cream ala cream but they are always near the top until they join the top most sorted careers.Well, they are not nerds or geeks but lead a balanced lifestyle. They know their limits and do not step over them.At times they are more diligent in their moral values (compare to me!)and are level headed in their views.
All I do nowadays is pray for them every night that they hear and obey His voice,that they do not bow down to pressure be it work or studies, and lastly they find the love of their life when the time is right.
Academically they are not the cream ala cream but they are always near the top until they join the top most sorted careers.Well, they are not nerds or geeks but lead a balanced lifestyle. They know their limits and do not step over them.At times they are more diligent in their moral values (compare to me!)and are level headed in their views.
All I do nowadays is pray for them every night that they hear and obey His voice,that they do not bow down to pressure be it work or studies, and lastly they find the love of their life when the time is right.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Learning from my children
I come from the generation of Chinese family(I don't know if it is a habit of other ethnic group) who believes in keeping bad news from those you love. For example if one is sick, they then to keep it from the spouse and children especially those that are far away for fear that it will distract them from whatever they are doing. I subscribed to this philosophy for many years. I also had told my children that if they have to choose between me and their spouse, I would understand if they have to lean over the other side because they have a family of their own. Family peace comes first that I believe, parents need to let go and bless the children.
But over conversations with my children and seeing what has happened around myself recently, I now beg to differ . My children are right. Give them the choice for they are matured enough to know and make their independent decisions. My children reminded me that they would like to know and share what goes around in the family (so don't keep bad news and information). I believe they are right. As parents we have brought them up matured, independent, have a good sense of right and wrong.If we have done a good job, we should allow them to be adults in the true sense of the word.
Respect them to make their decisions on their family and let them learn to approach the realities of life.
But over conversations with my children and seeing what has happened around myself recently, I now beg to differ . My children are right. Give them the choice for they are matured enough to know and make their independent decisions. My children reminded me that they would like to know and share what goes around in the family (so don't keep bad news and information). I believe they are right. As parents we have brought them up matured, independent, have a good sense of right and wrong.If we have done a good job, we should allow them to be adults in the true sense of the word.
Respect them to make their decisions on their family and let them learn to approach the realities of life.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Reflection from another's Blog
Just read a blog by a doctor on his involvement with HIV/AIDS patients as he walk in a war memorial. And it jolted my emotions.
We all have our spacial role to play in life.To me a child of Christ, I take it as my way to praise and thank Him for His blessings, my way of life with Him. To others, I pray that it becomes a way of life that we may leave a mark behind after we pass this way.
As we walk along life's path, we are destined to do great things. Some of us could, some of us didn't. If we couldn't invent a machine to stop war, or find a cure for a deadly disease, at least let us learn to love and care. And if we can't or don't know how to extend a hand or lend a hearing ear, at least don't step on others or hurt others.
Is it greed or just insecurity that make man have dangerous ambitions? Is it a wrong nerve triggered that make others enjoy sadistic acts? And is it an unconscious mind that hurt those around us? If it is, may we all say a prayer in our own faith for us and others to control our greed, manage our insecurity and to have a caring heart.
Life on earth is but a hundred years or less.It is so true that that we will leave the same way we came. Live it with our God given gifts, make a purpose in life, if we are to be remembered, may it be something positive Or at least not let someone rejoice at our going.
Happy New Year since it is still January and I feel good.
We all have our spacial role to play in life.To me a child of Christ, I take it as my way to praise and thank Him for His blessings, my way of life with Him. To others, I pray that it becomes a way of life that we may leave a mark behind after we pass this way.
As we walk along life's path, we are destined to do great things. Some of us could, some of us didn't. If we couldn't invent a machine to stop war, or find a cure for a deadly disease, at least let us learn to love and care. And if we can't or don't know how to extend a hand or lend a hearing ear, at least don't step on others or hurt others.
Is it greed or just insecurity that make man have dangerous ambitions? Is it a wrong nerve triggered that make others enjoy sadistic acts? And is it an unconscious mind that hurt those around us? If it is, may we all say a prayer in our own faith for us and others to control our greed, manage our insecurity and to have a caring heart.
Life on earth is but a hundred years or less.It is so true that that we will leave the same way we came. Live it with our God given gifts, make a purpose in life, if we are to be remembered, may it be something positive Or at least not let someone rejoice at our going.
Happy New Year since it is still January and I feel good.
Monday, January 3, 2011
happy new year 2011
Happy new year. 2011 is here and I am all ready to ride through it.It will be a busy year as I could see numerous happenings lining up.
First in line will be Daddy's retirement and helping him to adjust.
Next will be CNY with a difference without Au and E in the midst of preparing for finals (his half a million final investment, according to him!).
E's nail biting results and then moving back from BP to KL. He will be able to see to it on his own but being parents, ..................... Hope he will enjoy his nostalgic ball!
Into his holidays, we hope to take him along for a North,South and East trip in peninsula Malaysia in anticipation of his posting and marking daddy's retirement.That is if E is without any other plans.
Following that should be our honeymoon in Japan courtesy of H. That will be our first trip in a long long long time without the children. (Think it is the first). Hope I could enjoy it. Not the scenery and place but without the 3 precious. Daddy think it is time we learn.
All these will be in the midst of looking for a place to move out to and then back fr after 4 months in view of the renovation plans. Of course lots and lots of decisions to make in the meantime from which contractor, what to prioritise, the material proper not forgetting what and how to pack and unpack.
Other things include supporting Ad into his next phase, thinking about Au 21st present,E's convocation, redecorating the house, settling E in his new posting etc etc.
Blogging about it is already so long and I have only reach the first 6 months.Indeed it was so appropriate for pastor to advise preparing a seed bed of prayer. What better way to train myself to pray every minute I have ! For His will to be done, strength, health, patience, clear mind ............ OK I think I am going to tired Him out too : )
First in line will be Daddy's retirement and helping him to adjust.
Next will be CNY with a difference without Au and E in the midst of preparing for finals (his half a million final investment, according to him!).
E's nail biting results and then moving back from BP to KL. He will be able to see to it on his own but being parents, ..................... Hope he will enjoy his nostalgic ball!
Into his holidays, we hope to take him along for a North,South and East trip in peninsula Malaysia in anticipation of his posting and marking daddy's retirement.That is if E is without any other plans.
Following that should be our honeymoon in Japan courtesy of H. That will be our first trip in a long long long time without the children. (Think it is the first). Hope I could enjoy it. Not the scenery and place but without the 3 precious. Daddy think it is time we learn.
All these will be in the midst of looking for a place to move out to and then back fr after 4 months in view of the renovation plans. Of course lots and lots of decisions to make in the meantime from which contractor, what to prioritise, the material proper not forgetting what and how to pack and unpack.
Other things include supporting Ad into his next phase, thinking about Au 21st present,E's convocation, redecorating the house, settling E in his new posting etc etc.
Blogging about it is already so long and I have only reach the first 6 months.Indeed it was so appropriate for pastor to advise preparing a seed bed of prayer. What better way to train myself to pray every minute I have ! For His will to be done, strength, health, patience, clear mind ............ OK I think I am going to tired Him out too : )
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