Much is said about striking a balance in life.
Students are told to balance their time between studies and games. Parents are told to divide their time equally for all the children. Working adults are suppose to balance work with social life. Married couples or parents are told to have time for work, spouse and family. Well said.
Question is at which point is it considered balanced. 50-50, 30-70 or 25-75 and which way should it sway.
An athletic teenager will think that it should be 50-50 but the parents feel that 20-80 is a better choice. A father might want to spend time for the family but what if the boss think otherwise. Even if time is spend on the children, at which point is it right. Too little is the problem most psychologist prefer to think. But if too much attention is given, will the child be too dependent on the parents?
So it is a simple answer to a lot of problem but no one can come up with a well defined formula.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Runaway week and E's 21st birthday
All his wonderful friends that came to share their birthday wishes. K said there would have been many more if not because it is in the middle of their semester break. E received smses of birthday wishes too from those who couldn't turn up.
With an auntie that acts as the Ala maternal grandma he never had.
Next we plotted and organised a surprise 21st birthday party for E. Au helped and she felt the strain as she has 2 tests and a presentation to do today. But she was good, she gave her best to come up with the computer presentation.Ad came in the last few hours to round up the technical part. It was well worth the time as E was thoroughly surprised and he and his friends enjoyed themselves at Honey Star.
Happy birthday, E. We love you
A love affair ending
Our relationship started with a bang and you came into my life with a celebration.There was no doubt of my love for you.It was love at first sight. As a matter of fact, I was expecting you for 9 months and you appeared, I couldn't contain my happiness. All through our relationship, I gave you my deepest love in a fashion most unselfishly.
It was a case of loving you and still more love. Irregardless whether you responded or not. When you were in pain it pained me more. What your heart desire it was my wish to fulfil it.I attended all your needs most happily and your smile and approval was all I ever needed.
As the years goes by, I was there financially and supported you emotionally. It hurts so much when you splurge my hard earn money so thoughtlessly but I bit my tongue for fear of saying something that might hurt you.
I watch out when others hurt you. I was all ready to take your side and protect you.I look out and read books on how to help you academically , emotionally, socially and all other ways. I financed you all through your years of studies without a second thought and I still have no regrets. It is not because you ask for it but I just wanted the best for you and wanted to give you all that you need.
The signs has been there for the last few years but I just doesn't want to accept it. You can't be blamed because it is me that don't want to see it. This love affair has to end I knew from the start you came from him and he will always be there. I was willing to share you with him but if either one of you think otherwise, I knew I have to accept it. Now that I have to face the fact, I still have no regrets but just be happy for the years you gave me. I don't know if he wanted you back all to himself or if you decided you want to go back to him completely. Either way, it looks look like the end is approaching. It is bitter sweet but like all true love, you tell yourself to be grateful for the happy moments we shared. It is said that if you truly love something, you must always let it go. If it comes back to you it is truly yours. If it doesn't, maybe it was never yours to start with. I am one who do not like to look back and analyse my actions. I always believe in doing what I wanted to do. There isn't any well defined line to what is right or wrong; what should or shouldn't be. I believe in looking forward. If it is to be, let it be. There may be times when one wondered it was silly to have love so much when it cause so much pain but I believe it is better to have loved and pained rather than never loved before. My love for you will stay eternally and I will still wait for the day that you may come back to me.
Now, isn't that a love story or what!
It was a case of loving you and still more love. Irregardless whether you responded or not. When you were in pain it pained me more. What your heart desire it was my wish to fulfil it.I attended all your needs most happily and your smile and approval was all I ever needed.
As the years goes by, I was there financially and supported you emotionally. It hurts so much when you splurge my hard earn money so thoughtlessly but I bit my tongue for fear of saying something that might hurt you.
I watch out when others hurt you. I was all ready to take your side and protect you.I look out and read books on how to help you academically , emotionally, socially and all other ways. I financed you all through your years of studies without a second thought and I still have no regrets. It is not because you ask for it but I just wanted the best for you and wanted to give you all that you need.
The signs has been there for the last few years but I just doesn't want to accept it. You can't be blamed because it is me that don't want to see it. This love affair has to end I knew from the start you came from him and he will always be there. I was willing to share you with him but if either one of you think otherwise, I knew I have to accept it. Now that I have to face the fact, I still have no regrets but just be happy for the years you gave me. I don't know if he wanted you back all to himself or if you decided you want to go back to him completely. Either way, it looks look like the end is approaching. It is bitter sweet but like all true love, you tell yourself to be grateful for the happy moments we shared. It is said that if you truly love something, you must always let it go. If it comes back to you it is truly yours. If it doesn't, maybe it was never yours to start with. I am one who do not like to look back and analyse my actions. I always believe in doing what I wanted to do. There isn't any well defined line to what is right or wrong; what should or shouldn't be. I believe in looking forward. If it is to be, let it be. There may be times when one wondered it was silly to have love so much when it cause so much pain but I believe it is better to have loved and pained rather than never loved before. My love for you will stay eternally and I will still wait for the day that you may come back to me.
Now, isn't that a love story or what!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Proud of E
Today marks another reason for Thanksgiving. E got his results for his finals at Bukit Jalil and he PASSED! Had been nervous and having nightmares the whole week. With His grace, he can now proceed to Seremban.
He may not be on Dean's list, but I always feel he will do a good job serving God in his chosen profession. He has a inborn character to love, care, be patient and just the right personality to become a doctor.I won't comment on his intellectual but he definitely has the right disposition. He is surrounded by good friends and the tigers of the lecturer list too have a soft spot for him.
Maybe I am a bit prejudice since I am a mother but I pray he gets His guidance.
He may not be on Dean's list, but I always feel he will do a good job serving God in his chosen profession. He has a inborn character to love, care, be patient and just the right personality to become a doctor.I won't comment on his intellectual but he definitely has the right disposition. He is surrounded by good friends and the tigers of the lecturer list too have a soft spot for him.
Maybe I am a bit prejudice since I am a mother but I pray he gets His guidance.
trip to uh II
Last Thursday was the second part to Uh to see my report card on my blood test. Phew!! pass with good marks. Cholesterol, sugar, kidney, liver all good. Even blood pressure was perfect(ok lah near perfect....140/80)Doctor say do more exercise. Truth is, ever since retiring, I haven't been taking medication for pressure and cholesterol. Neither have I been doing my brisk walking. Doctor_to_be in the house gives me the medical look but hey what a way to celebrate when all is well.Like I told an old friend, it is my bonus for leaving the company of bad vibes.Definitely worth the sacrifice. Thanks to the Lord for the good health. Is that the message?
By the way Ad bought me a book on 'Loving God When you Don't Love the Church'. Will start on the book though it is not exactly to my doubts. I have nothing against the church. I just wonder who He love more. A child who is sincere but doesn't attend church or a child who is senior in the church but commits all crimes outside? Which is His choice and what does He do about it. As I see it now, the first child is punished while the second is rewarded. But final thoughts is that He decides and I still have no wish to dwell into it with Him. I just wish to trust and go on with my life.
On the same note , kudos to UH . I went in at 1am to register, got the number 10, called to pay (free for pensioners) at 1.30, saw the Doctor at 2.10, collected medication at 2.25, made my next appointment with Doctor and collecting medication by 2.30 and was waiting for E to pick me by 2.35. I call that first class administration.
By the way Ad bought me a book on 'Loving God When you Don't Love the Church'. Will start on the book though it is not exactly to my doubts. I have nothing against the church. I just wonder who He love more. A child who is sincere but doesn't attend church or a child who is senior in the church but commits all crimes outside? Which is His choice and what does He do about it. As I see it now, the first child is punished while the second is rewarded. But final thoughts is that He decides and I still have no wish to dwell into it with Him. I just wish to trust and go on with my life.
On the same note , kudos to UH . I went in at 1am to register, got the number 10, called to pay (free for pensioners) at 1.30, saw the Doctor at 2.10, collected medication at 2.25, made my next appointment with Doctor and collecting medication by 2.30 and was waiting for E to pick me by 2.35. I call that first class administration.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Holiday with Sister
Doctor to be at the balcony enjoying the sea breeze. Otherwise it is back to his books and notes during so-called break.But he did gave us the time and attention due.
Group photo taken just before coming back. Daddy and A drove the cars. So the kids need not have to bare with the old folks home inmates when travelling! : )
Glorious open air bathroom complete with tub and shower. Look up you get the sky. down you see the sea.
Penny for your thoughts!Window overlooking bathroom from the bedroom.
Lovely to see cheese cake compliment of Avillion.
E's peacock that refuses to let E have a front shot of him. But he did leave us a feather for souvenir.
Hotel's beach but rather dirty.
Long time no swim. but they seem to be able to float. Apart from that everybodyb except for A tried out the jacuzzi and hot spa.
Bubble bath disaster but where else could one dirty the bath tub and not worry about cleaning up. Sorry Avillion staff.
A with her favourite Tai Yee.
Sisters oh sisters.
Couple number 1 at candlelight dinner. Had to use flash otherwise no see anything!!!
Couple number 2 at candlelight dinner.
Being serenaded by singers. Sis requested for Green Green grass of Home.
The couple of the year!!!!!!!!!!! This should be blown up for keeps. Ha ha haNow you know why I say if I don't blog immediately, it will stay in my head for a few months.
Took a holiday with sister and hubby to Avillion in Jun and here are the photos. It was a break and the children enjoyed the place, company and food.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Good Friends
Just back from a breakfast session with old friends that went on till nearly lunch. Hope Ipoh old town will not bar us from entering the shop the next time!
Now it is not like me to blog so fast after an event. So why do you see me here. I learn that if I don't do it when the 'iron' is hot, I will be blogging it in my head for the next few weeks and than slowly get erased! Further more hope to put up the photo so that if they get on my blog, they get to see it.
SH, J , PE and I has been friends since 1980 when I first join BB. They were the 3 sweet young things in the junior teachers' table that made me feel at home literally the first instance I step into the school. They joined BB 6 months before that. All in all we had lots of good times, fun times , laughs, jokes, badminton sessions, saw through courtships, marrige and the growing up of our kids. It was a good pleasant time for nearly 7 years till PE decide to call it a day and J married off to Texas. SH went off to another school shortly after that and also decided to quit the profession 5 years later. As for myself, I join them last year.
After leaving the school, PE began her life as a businessman's AKA hubby, good partner and brought up 4 lovely kids. SH became the boss's wife too and mothered her 3 street smart kids. J became a high flyer flying across the continents and had a lovely daughter. The 3 of us left behind in M'sia plan to meet once every season (4 time lah a year) but we always end up only seeing each other when J is back. I do hope we improve otherwise J will need to come back more often.
Back home, second son asked what we talked about for 4 hours. Reflecting back I realise we didn't have a minute of silence. We talked about children, family, old times, old friends and future tense including insurance. That is the beauty of our friendship. There is no hesitation in our conversation. We tease and we comment sincere feelings and it is just free flow. No politics and no worry about feelings and thinking over before speaking. It was automatic that we take care of each others feelinfs. We started with pure innocence 28 years ago and it is still the same. My prayer is that we will have another minimum 28 more years of the same friendship. God bless all of you and may He bring us all good health and peace to our family.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
In His Name
Got a call from an administrator from a private school inviting me to either give a physics seminar to their students or a talk to their prefects.
An ex student is with them. and he used to talk to me about his teaching career. Had been giving him some advice which he obviously has brought to his administrator. Thanks to him and the school for having high regards for me.
As for me, I am glad that he feels comfortable enough and have such high respect for me. He was has never study directly under me but only knows me as a teacher and administrator of his Alma mater. I am glad to talk with him and share with him whatever I have learn and acquire in my working life.If I could contribute and help him to be a better teacher, I think I have fulfill my service to God for the day. To me serving Him is not necessarily going to church and praying out loud with the chosen words. It is doing something good in His name.
Senior Christians might not agree with me but for the time being, this is my thoughts. I believe it is much better than going to church while hurting others and creating negative vibes.
An ex student is with them. and he used to talk to me about his teaching career. Had been giving him some advice which he obviously has brought to his administrator. Thanks to him and the school for having high regards for me.
As for me, I am glad that he feels comfortable enough and have such high respect for me. He was has never study directly under me but only knows me as a teacher and administrator of his Alma mater. I am glad to talk with him and share with him whatever I have learn and acquire in my working life.If I could contribute and help him to be a better teacher, I think I have fulfill my service to God for the day. To me serving Him is not necessarily going to church and praying out loud with the chosen words. It is doing something good in His name.
Senior Christians might not agree with me but for the time being, this is my thoughts. I believe it is much better than going to church while hurting others and creating negative vibes.
Old Friend
PL is a former teacher college and has been keeping regular contact. She is a young mother and we talk about how I bring up the 3 kids.She believes that the 3 kids have been brought up well and I like to thank and believe her. Below is part of an extract I shared with her.
hi hi hi
2 months delay and I shouldn't try to find an excuse for the absence so a cheeky sorry is all you get.
wow and the amount of things that has transpired since then! Price of petrol that start the ball rolling with the price of my favourite butter and cheese nearly doubling Told the kids baking is slowing down and hubby gave me a one-kind look. hee hee hee wonderful excuse not to do so much baking. Now with the political scene being so exciting and economically so frightening, I spend around 2 hours every morning catching up with all the non-mainstream news on the net before going for the newspaper. eg why we should go into gold by Matthias Chang etc.
Like I say before, retired life is wonderful except that pocket is lighter. True that hubby working but never know how our expenses might change and the fact that the world sound so volatile.
Nvmd, Chinese say got wine lets get drunk first. I envy the absolute trust that some people have in God (that He will take care of all things) but I can't accept that kind of philosophy.There is a difference between being childish and having child-like trust.(result of the books I have been reading)
Kids are OK. No, A is not getting married. Tough luck.
E is having his finals. If he carry on with his medical studies, the clinical part is done in S'ban so that is why need to move there.
Au is OK. Looking around for a course for her. Daddy doesn't want her to be too far ie UK (he never had that problem with Adrian there, wonder why!!!). I would like her to twin so that I still have her for 2 more years.Unfortunately twinning means UK and going Australia (nearer means double the expenses(RM 100K x 4years minimum)
Study should never be a chore to both child and parent. If it is to the parent, the child will feel the negative vibes and won't enjoy it. If the child feel it is a chore, sooner or later, it will manifest in their attitude in life.My 2 cents worth
When they are younger(preschool) I love to put them on my lap or cuddle up near and read books with them.I buy a lot of activity books that require SHORT exercises like using stickers and joining lines and scratching.The younger ones will sit and do it while the older one does their homework with me near.Sat with A for 6 years , 3 years with E and none with Au( same 6 years cuz they are 3 years apart. By that time they have their own sibling's company in the study room and look after each other.The study room is given 1st priority for comfort. When they are on their own, I used to pop in once a while and give them treats like ice cream and chocolate cookies with cold milk or just to hug and kiss.The room has all the books they enjoy so they get to 'curi' read their story books once in a while between homework.
Alamak. don't write for 2 months now cannot stop. sorry for the drag.But I enjoy it. Hope you don't mind if I put part of this letter in my blog
cheerio. wakey wakey don't nod off mummy
love
hi hi hi
2 months delay and I shouldn't try to find an excuse for the absence so a cheeky sorry is all you get.
wow and the amount of things that has transpired since then! Price of petrol that start the ball rolling with the price of my favourite butter and cheese nearly doubling Told the kids baking is slowing down and hubby gave me a one-kind look. hee hee hee wonderful excuse not to do so much baking. Now with the political scene being so exciting and economically so frightening, I spend around 2 hours every morning catching up with all the non-mainstream news on the net before going for the newspaper. eg why we should go into gold by Matthias Chang etc.
Like I say before, retired life is wonderful except that pocket is lighter. True that hubby working but never know how our expenses might change and the fact that the world sound so volatile.
Nvmd, Chinese say got wine lets get drunk first. I envy the absolute trust that some people have in God (that He will take care of all things) but I can't accept that kind of philosophy.There is a difference between being childish and having child-like trust.(result of the books I have been reading)
Kids are OK. No, A is not getting married. Tough luck.
E is having his finals. If he carry on with his medical studies, the clinical part is done in S'ban so that is why need to move there.
Au is OK. Looking around for a course for her. Daddy doesn't want her to be too far ie UK (he never had that problem with Adrian there, wonder why!!!). I would like her to twin so that I still have her for 2 more years.Unfortunately twinning means UK and going Australia (nearer means double the expenses(RM 100K x 4years minimum)
Study should never be a chore to both child and parent. If it is to the parent, the child will feel the negative vibes and won't enjoy it. If the child feel it is a chore, sooner or later, it will manifest in their attitude in life.My 2 cents worth
When they are younger(preschool) I love to put them on my lap or cuddle up near and read books with them.I buy a lot of activity books that require SHORT exercises like using stickers and joining lines and scratching.The younger ones will sit and do it while the older one does their homework with me near.Sat with A for 6 years , 3 years with E and none with Au( same 6 years cuz they are 3 years apart. By that time they have their own sibling's company in the study room and look after each other.The study room is given 1st priority for comfort. When they are on their own, I used to pop in once a while and give them treats like ice cream and chocolate cookies with cold milk or just to hug and kiss.The room has all the books they enjoy so they get to 'curi' read their story books once in a while between homework.
Alamak. don't write for 2 months now cannot stop. sorry for the drag.But I enjoy it. Hope you don't mind if I put part of this letter in my blog
cheerio. wakey wakey don't nod off mummy
love
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Trip to UH
This week is E's final papers in his present campus before he moves on to the second phase of his studies.All in the family especially me was so engrossed with it making sure he is rested and well feed with the right food that I totally forgotten that I have to do my blood test in UH.
So this morning off I troop to UH after sending A to work. All patients doing the fasting test are suppose to clock in at 7.45 am. Well I made it in by 8.33. One look at the crowd and I was all ready to stay till 11 plus. Surprise, surprise and kudos to UH staff. Got to go to the paying counter ( to get the 'percuma' chop on the resit) by 9.20 and was called in to see 'dracula' by 9.30. The staff were patient (saw two of them being yelled at by an old man demanding attention but refrained from answering back) and well trained (blood was drawned without any hitch together with a smile and comforting words to relax). I don't know what others has to complain but I am always happy with UH bearing in mind that there is always a crowd there.
Another point to note. Saw an old lady with a maid there and wonder if I will ever reach that stage of life. Saw one on the wheelchair pushed by a maid and accompanied by a son. Wonder what the scenario will be if all her children are salaried and need to take leave to do the needful. Will my children do that when I am at her stage? Will I remember to be patient and understanding if they can't?
So this morning off I troop to UH after sending A to work. All patients doing the fasting test are suppose to clock in at 7.45 am. Well I made it in by 8.33. One look at the crowd and I was all ready to stay till 11 plus. Surprise, surprise and kudos to UH staff. Got to go to the paying counter ( to get the 'percuma' chop on the resit) by 9.20 and was called in to see 'dracula' by 9.30. The staff were patient (saw two of them being yelled at by an old man demanding attention but refrained from answering back) and well trained (blood was drawned without any hitch together with a smile and comforting words to relax). I don't know what others has to complain but I am always happy with UH bearing in mind that there is always a crowd there.
Another point to note. Saw an old lady with a maid there and wonder if I will ever reach that stage of life. Saw one on the wheelchair pushed by a maid and accompanied by a son. Wonder what the scenario will be if all her children are salaried and need to take leave to do the needful. Will my children do that when I am at her stage? Will I remember to be patient and understanding if they can't?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)