The book is titled Second Innocence by John Izzo.
A good read maybe because it put into words certain thoughts of mine. It talks about how as we grown older we lose our innocence with life and tend to view it with cynicism. It talks about how we should go back to our childhood innocence hence second innocence. But the point to take is that we need to be more CHILDLIKE and not more CHILDISH. To think that the world is all good and pure and that life only goes by certain rules is childish. To be childlike, we use our grain and understand that the WORLD is made up of all kinds and we need to recognize and take certain path but at the same time have faith after all that we had done our best, it will be ok.
In the section on rediscovering wonder in the daily journey, he tells us that life is mainly rowing the boat and the final goal is but a short duration. We work hard and state our goals but we sometimes had our goals all wrong. We maybe able to plan but God decide and we need to make DETOUR. Lastly, when things get bad, don’t give up.
For those still working, he has a section on rediscovering the joy of work. Similarly he spend 2 chapters on relationship and 3 on faith
I am now in the middle of the section on faith.
It is a beautiful read. Nothing very heavy but something to keep us thinking.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
After Retirement
Having blog about the family, what about me?
As I enter into the new year as a retiree, it is confirmed that how we run our life is totally dependent on our selves. I feel that most people fear retirement with only 2 thoughts in mind. One is obviously concerning finance and secondly, how they are going to spend their time.
Hubby and me met up with a schoolmate who has been a friend for donkey years and as all conversation goes for people in the 50’s, the topic of retirement crop up. It is surprising that people can view it with a question ‘But what are you going to do then?’ I feel that what we can do is entirely up to us. We have spent the last 30 years doing what our career requires us to do so. We played the part of bringing up and enjoying our kids. But don’t we have any other interest in life? As for me, I have a variety of interest. I love reading which has been put aside for years. I read novels, trash sobby love stories, language, hobbies, geography, philosophy, feng shui, investment and anything else I can get my hands on. (Having said that, I have dropped a number of topics off my list like character building, teambuilding and motivation!) I also would like to pick up on handicrafts like sewing, patchwork and paper craft. (Only problem is that all these need money which all retirees need to be careful about.) I am waiting for my husband to reach 55 too so that we could do leisure holidays together. We talk about slow moving holidays where we just move around and enjoy each others company (and if we got bored with each other we still have the scenery to look at, ; ) ) . I would like to go back to the cinema and enjoy the big screen. That I might need to do it myself or with the kids because hubby sleep whenever the show stars. Trying out recipes and cooking for my loved ones is another thing I would enjoy. Not forgetting the basic being a couch potato and start discovery what Astro can offer. 10 months have passed and I haven’t done much and that is the good part. There is no time limit. Maybe it is because little Au is still in pre-U and the boys are still staying with us. I know that there will come a time that they will leave the nest and while wanting to prepare them to be on their own, I still want to enjoy the last few years of pampering them, hugging them, teasing them and just having them near me.
Financially, I also realize that income have dropped drastically and while the pension will be there as long as the death certificate is not issued, inflation will set in. The worth of the pension will drop as the years go by. As we age, medical fees will come in and God know how our last years will be spent. It could be totally dependency. (Fingers crossed but who knows. My thoughts on death will be another interesting topic to blog on) While I can I hope to venture through the financial door, learn enough to make some sound decisions and preparation.
All I want to say is that there is a life after 55 that is much more challenging. I intend to take it up and make the best of it. There is still a home to run, a family to love, lost ideas to be found, interests to be revived and a whole big world to discover. Our career is nothing but a speck compared to it.
As I enter into the new year as a retiree, it is confirmed that how we run our life is totally dependent on our selves. I feel that most people fear retirement with only 2 thoughts in mind. One is obviously concerning finance and secondly, how they are going to spend their time.
Hubby and me met up with a schoolmate who has been a friend for donkey years and as all conversation goes for people in the 50’s, the topic of retirement crop up. It is surprising that people can view it with a question ‘But what are you going to do then?’ I feel that what we can do is entirely up to us. We have spent the last 30 years doing what our career requires us to do so. We played the part of bringing up and enjoying our kids. But don’t we have any other interest in life? As for me, I have a variety of interest. I love reading which has been put aside for years. I read novels, trash sobby love stories, language, hobbies, geography, philosophy, feng shui, investment and anything else I can get my hands on. (Having said that, I have dropped a number of topics off my list like character building, teambuilding and motivation!) I also would like to pick up on handicrafts like sewing, patchwork and paper craft. (Only problem is that all these need money which all retirees need to be careful about.) I am waiting for my husband to reach 55 too so that we could do leisure holidays together. We talk about slow moving holidays where we just move around and enjoy each others company (and if we got bored with each other we still have the scenery to look at, ; ) ) . I would like to go back to the cinema and enjoy the big screen. That I might need to do it myself or with the kids because hubby sleep whenever the show stars. Trying out recipes and cooking for my loved ones is another thing I would enjoy. Not forgetting the basic being a couch potato and start discovery what Astro can offer. 10 months have passed and I haven’t done much and that is the good part. There is no time limit. Maybe it is because little Au is still in pre-U and the boys are still staying with us. I know that there will come a time that they will leave the nest and while wanting to prepare them to be on their own, I still want to enjoy the last few years of pampering them, hugging them, teasing them and just having them near me.
Financially, I also realize that income have dropped drastically and while the pension will be there as long as the death certificate is not issued, inflation will set in. The worth of the pension will drop as the years go by. As we age, medical fees will come in and God know how our last years will be spent. It could be totally dependency. (Fingers crossed but who knows. My thoughts on death will be another interesting topic to blog on) While I can I hope to venture through the financial door, learn enough to make some sound decisions and preparation.
All I want to say is that there is a life after 55 that is much more challenging. I intend to take it up and make the best of it. There is still a home to run, a family to love, lost ideas to be found, interests to be revived and a whole big world to discover. Our career is nothing but a speck compared to it.
Monday, April 21, 2008
On Being a Parent
There is another lesson to be learned as I blog. I am not sure if it is the way my brain work or if it is due to old age. (Ad will insist it is the second option.) but ideas and thoughts are really really fleeting nowadays. At one instant, the thoughts are there and organized, the next, it is forgotten until it comes back at its own time and day. So this morning as the thoughts came, I quickly jot it down on a paper before it flew away again
Following my last statement in the last blog and on the occasion of my niece’s wedding over the weekend, one gets an overview of a parent’s role. Time flies as I still remember how shy she was as a baby and how she will cry each time anyone unfamiliar gets too near her. Today she is all grown up poised and pretty, confident and a wife to another. In the process I am sure her parents like me would have gone through a journey of parenthood. I am sure there were many times in her life that the parents would have love to steer the child’s life believing that it is the best course. But as parents we learn that we need to let go and the more we care the more we need to stand apart and let them venture out. It could be pretty nerve racking and sometimes stressful not forgetting painful but it has to take that that course. It is truly ‘if they don’t fall, they won’t learn’ we can only prepare them before hand and say our prayer that if they do fall, it is not too painful. Their choice of career path, their friends and their life partners are some of the things parents need to tie themselves to the tree to stop themselves from interfering. You may feel you have the right and the eyes to see things they don’t but the kids themselves certainly think otherwise.
Parents have only approximately 20 years to prepare the foundation and then you move aside to view and bit your fingernails. If you are lucky, you will still have nice manicures nail otherwise, good luck!
Nowadays as I listen to the younger generation talk about their opinions, or see the decisions they made about their life, you say a silent prayer. I was reading the life history of Tian Chua and the thought is how the parents have felt. I have seen a number of those in the twenties who threw away their profession and decide to do the alternative like spending time at church and I pray that I could accept it if my turn comes along.
Phew, the job of a parent! Maybe the happier alternative would have been to have half a dozen kids, throw them out into the streets and be ignorant of all things possible. Maybe life would have been simpler then! And we thought we have progress from our parents’ time! Look as if they might have been the smarter ones.
Following my last statement in the last blog and on the occasion of my niece’s wedding over the weekend, one gets an overview of a parent’s role. Time flies as I still remember how shy she was as a baby and how she will cry each time anyone unfamiliar gets too near her. Today she is all grown up poised and pretty, confident and a wife to another. In the process I am sure her parents like me would have gone through a journey of parenthood. I am sure there were many times in her life that the parents would have love to steer the child’s life believing that it is the best course. But as parents we learn that we need to let go and the more we care the more we need to stand apart and let them venture out. It could be pretty nerve racking and sometimes stressful not forgetting painful but it has to take that that course. It is truly ‘if they don’t fall, they won’t learn’ we can only prepare them before hand and say our prayer that if they do fall, it is not too painful. Their choice of career path, their friends and their life partners are some of the things parents need to tie themselves to the tree to stop themselves from interfering. You may feel you have the right and the eyes to see things they don’t but the kids themselves certainly think otherwise.
Parents have only approximately 20 years to prepare the foundation and then you move aside to view and bit your fingernails. If you are lucky, you will still have nice manicures nail otherwise, good luck!
Nowadays as I listen to the younger generation talk about their opinions, or see the decisions they made about their life, you say a silent prayer. I was reading the life history of Tian Chua and the thought is how the parents have felt. I have seen a number of those in the twenties who threw away their profession and decide to do the alternative like spending time at church and I pray that I could accept it if my turn comes along.
Phew, the job of a parent! Maybe the happier alternative would have been to have half a dozen kids, throw them out into the streets and be ignorant of all things possible. Maybe life would have been simpler then! And we thought we have progress from our parents’ time! Look as if they might have been the smarter ones.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Being Discipline
If blogging teaches me anything, the first thing would be to be discipline. I am still suffering from the old virus of opening other sites and never reaching here. So early this morning I told myself this will be the first page I will open irregardless what the world is saying. So here I am.
The last 2 odd months has been busy. A lot has happened to every one around and that includes me. Starting with daddy, he has now moved office to PJ.I went to visit the place even before renovation started because we wanted to see the direction of his room. He is given the 'boss' room in his floor and has all his 'little' and 'big' girls with him all within reach! Unfortunately, the room looks like a quarter of a cake (is this shape getting popular with architects or what!) with 6 panel glass for the curvature. It possesses a challenge to my limited feng shui knowledge. His boss' boss too had a say and the fact that the new furniture was purchased without any thought to the roomdid not help. Fortunately with the help of the compass and our innovation, we had a few twisting and turning of the table and cupboards, I am glad to say that it is up to our satisfaction. To end the event, I would like to record my appreciation to Ad for going along when we speak of feng shui and directions in his presence and not kick a fuss. (For the record, we know his passion into Christianity but I for one always believe in being 'non extreme')Thanks too to Ed for helping to move the furniture the last time. By the way the whole office has nothing but cavities as walls as oppose to a flat plane! Another architectural style?
At this time and place, Ed is busy with his last minute preparations for his IMU ball. He took up the post with quite a bit of concern towards his studies and I don't blame him as I too was a bit worried. I am glad he managed well and I think he has done a wonderful job as a leader. He managed to get the various committees working and he had the patience and PR to handle all sorts of characters. I am proud of him and told him so. I have always advocated that there are many things in life that no textbook or educational institution can teach you. The family has decided to dress him up with a suit and bow complete with special shirt and new shoes. (Only lacking is a girl's hand to hold for the night, ha ha ha). We wish him luck and would say a prayer for him to have a successful event tomorrow night. He had grown up mentally early and his teachers saw that potential in him when he was the assistant head prefect during his lower secondary days. With that, I think I would feel pretty relaxed as he proceeds to his next phase of education.
Au had her SPM results. Relatively speaking, it was a wonderful result with straight A's. But she has always had high goals and therefore was not too happy with the results. It was so touching seeing the 2 brothers playing their roles and talking to her. Her tears never flow in my presence but mothers always know what a child feels. (Is that a gift?) Right now all is well and she is working hard at her pre U program. She has also just got her driving license and she could drive confidently and well. Am I glad she is the last one and no more motor tutoring for me. It can be pretty nerve racking. No offence to my 3 kids.
All in all, the kids are getting on fine No doubt many things they do still give me sleepless nights and you hope they will be fine. It becomes a skill of seeing them take risks but you have to restrain yourself from helping. You hope to help but not let them know you are helping. You worry and care but not show. Simple as it sounds but God knows how hard it is to follow.
The last 2 odd months has been busy. A lot has happened to every one around and that includes me. Starting with daddy, he has now moved office to PJ.I went to visit the place even before renovation started because we wanted to see the direction of his room. He is given the 'boss' room in his floor and has all his 'little' and 'big' girls with him all within reach! Unfortunately, the room looks like a quarter of a cake (is this shape getting popular with architects or what!) with 6 panel glass for the curvature. It possesses a challenge to my limited feng shui knowledge. His boss' boss too had a say and the fact that the new furniture was purchased without any thought to the roomdid not help. Fortunately with the help of the compass and our innovation, we had a few twisting and turning of the table and cupboards, I am glad to say that it is up to our satisfaction. To end the event, I would like to record my appreciation to Ad for going along when we speak of feng shui and directions in his presence and not kick a fuss. (For the record, we know his passion into Christianity but I for one always believe in being 'non extreme')Thanks too to Ed for helping to move the furniture the last time. By the way the whole office has nothing but cavities as walls as oppose to a flat plane! Another architectural style?
At this time and place, Ed is busy with his last minute preparations for his IMU ball. He took up the post with quite a bit of concern towards his studies and I don't blame him as I too was a bit worried. I am glad he managed well and I think he has done a wonderful job as a leader. He managed to get the various committees working and he had the patience and PR to handle all sorts of characters. I am proud of him and told him so. I have always advocated that there are many things in life that no textbook or educational institution can teach you. The family has decided to dress him up with a suit and bow complete with special shirt and new shoes. (Only lacking is a girl's hand to hold for the night, ha ha ha). We wish him luck and would say a prayer for him to have a successful event tomorrow night. He had grown up mentally early and his teachers saw that potential in him when he was the assistant head prefect during his lower secondary days. With that, I think I would feel pretty relaxed as he proceeds to his next phase of education.
Au had her SPM results. Relatively speaking, it was a wonderful result with straight A's. But she has always had high goals and therefore was not too happy with the results. It was so touching seeing the 2 brothers playing their roles and talking to her. Her tears never flow in my presence but mothers always know what a child feels. (Is that a gift?) Right now all is well and she is working hard at her pre U program. She has also just got her driving license and she could drive confidently and well. Am I glad she is the last one and no more motor tutoring for me. It can be pretty nerve racking. No offence to my 3 kids.
All in all, the kids are getting on fine No doubt many things they do still give me sleepless nights and you hope they will be fine. It becomes a skill of seeing them take risks but you have to restrain yourself from helping. You hope to help but not let them know you are helping. You worry and care but not show. Simple as it sounds but God knows how hard it is to follow.
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