so you think the holidays are here?

Back to the school scene, last week in school was a compact week of activities (when is it otherwise with the new school!) All the kids were busy with sports day practise, heats and all other preparations. Could hardly squeeze any formal lessons in.
Come Thursday morning was supposed to be filled with normal lessons (one guess whether any teaching was done) Not only that, at 7.10 am, was told that Hm will not be in school in the morning because he need to collect T-shirts from out of town in time for the afternoon do. Apparently, at every sports day, all officials will wear a new T-shirt. Not a bad idea. I think it gives the teachers a new good togetherness feeling. Anyway the colour was not bad too. Kudos to R. Unfortunately, as in all organization, there are those not happy. Acceptable. With 100 adults, no one should expect 100% support. The afternoon went on fine though the VIP couldn't made it. Felt sorry for HM but relieve that no outsiders to take care.
Had a chance in the middle of everything to know a particular teacher better. Thank You God for opportunities like that to touch others. She was grateful for the chance to share and I think He has just used my physical body again. Praise the Lord.
Friday was another story, founder's day plus teachers day. One thing for sure, there is absolutely no stress on any function. Things just went on and it will just be on. (how else to express it?) MA was right as it was a bit boring but who really is complaining. BTW, the head boy said his goodbye to me in his speech!
Weekend and if you think the holiday is here, you are dead wrong. The school organised its annual educational retreat where selected boys will camp in the school for 3 days 2 nite while motivational talks and special answering techniques are belted out. Once again good idea. Kudos to the one man organiser P, to the teachers who worked so independently to get the speakers and agreed to stay overnight with the boys. Have I told you how amazed I am at the teachers attitude. They may have their lacking and idiosyncrasy with all their complains, but you have to give them A! for contributing to the school!!!!!
Points to note as it ended on Monday morning.

• Good idea, good speakers. Pity the boys hardly ready to accept it. Guess that is the culture.
• AJK must have more exact details with more supporting subcommittees and involving all GK
• Organizing skills need to be improved.
• Registration to be improved by only asking students to check particulars and not fill in the particulars.
• Rooms need to be given to boys at registration.
• no of rooms used must be fixed and ready before registration.
• dress code must be presentable to create the atmosphere
• meeting rooms must be ready with furniture arrangement.

Otherwise all schools should give it a try.

Come Monday afternoon holiday starts and I can start keeping all my medical appointments and play my role as a mother........................until I next need to be in school which is TOMORROW. Now do you know why I need to retire?

latest count of friends

I have resigned to the fact of my RM20K lost. My friend hasn't. WYC is still trying out means to help me get it back. Love you and thanks for being a friend.
Got in touch with W, fellow about-to-be retiree too. After a long chat we decided to leave things as it is. We will wait for the optional approval letter first. Then only will we think of the next step. As for myself, my stand is as in the last blog.
Later in the day yesterday, met up with the HEM gang, Found out that all teachers opting out this round are affected. Including those who have got KPM's blessing earlier on in the year and those from Wilayah. Well. what else to say!

Que sera sera

One week and so much has happened. To continue with the story of the pay rise, with the government's announcement of adjusting the pension, I hope to receive the revised pension value which will reduce my financial lost. As for my gratuity, I will lose approximately RM20K. Quite a sizable amount. I am blessed with a school clerk who has gone all out to call up JPS and JPA to help.(and got told off in the process too). A school support staff who make a special effort to get me to appeal to JPA irregardless what others has to say. Bless him. Thank God for a absolutely understanding supportive husband who understood my inner feelings and agree to leave things as it is.We ultimately believe that whatever it is to be, it is His wish.If He feel I should be getting RM 20K less, so be it.I have no intention of asking Him why. I still can't help feeling like a stepchild but like a stepchild i still love and respect Him.
At the end of it, I am feeling more blessed having so many caring people around me.A and V from the school office, WYC from state office, the nameless lady who talked to us from JPA, MY ultimate husband and loveliest children who feel that chocolate cookies and cakes are anytime more important than money! I love you all

What title should I use?

As I write this blog I couldn't decide to name it Twist of Fate or Where is Fate?
All my life, money has never been an objective for me. I have always felt that peace, love health is definately top on my list.
Up until the time I decide to opt out, I feel that the financial lost is acceptable for the exchange for my sanity and health. I am blessed with a family who supported me all the way. But I can't deny the impact I felt after the salary hike announced yesterday. The hike is on 1 July and my opt date is 30.Jun. With a difference of a second I lost approximately RM400 a month on my pension for the rest of my life. Also affected will be my gratuity the amount which I haven't calculated.
To add salt on wound, we were supposed to have gone on Jun but they have to delay us by one more month just so that the impact more glaring.
Next I ask if that was God's version of a joke on me.My fate believe that nothing goes without His OK so what is His message? Is it a punishment? In numerous occasions over the last 9 months, I query my faith. Why are those who hurt so much rewarded so well. sounded like the bad enjoy and the good suffer. I feel like a stepchild who love the parents at all cost and situation but I have A stepparent who always have a preference of His chosen one over me. It was all these thoughts and shaky feelings that help me to decide to leave bcuz I don't want her presence in my life to shake my faith. Similarly that is why I don't intend to go to church in the near future to meet up with more Christians and feel more shakened. Until such time when I am more stable I refuse to expose myself to another shake.

suppose-to-be last week

Today is suppose to mark the last week in school. Rang up JPS and was told that they haven't send the letter to JPA. JPA said that they only need 2 weeks to come out with the letters. Obviously again, JPS just can't get it done. So my retirement need to be postponed to 1 July.
In the new school, if I can just let go, I guess it doesn't really matter. Things are well and fine. Just that I feel I should contribute and put in another month of full work!Guess I haven't learn to just sit down!
In the meantime to make myself happy, I should sit down and start to plan my after-retirement plans. Many ideas and plans.
1. Basic economics course which i hope to do so that I can manage the investments better. generally so that the understanding is better.
2. exercise for my own health. Plan to walk half an hour to 45 minutes a day. Hope to achieve that in the morning after I send off everybody.
3. make a dish a week for the family. I have always have an interest but never get down to it. The family love food and especially the few dishes which I do. So I guess that should serve as a strong incentive.
4. Take care of breakfast since that is the meal that she doesn't bother.That means I should list them done and then experiment on them.Bet the kids will be happy and Matthew will be relieve that he doesn't have to plan it every evening.
5. purchase a sewing machine and start on my sewing craft. The kids already got me the quilt book so what other excuse do I have.
6. Put the house in order especially the files and books .
7. Hope to do a cardigan for Au before she enters pre U
Well quite a few more ideas but planning is one thing. Doing it will be another thing altogether.This blog will be a good reference point when I find life boring.(which I doubt very much will happen)

by far the sweetest mothers' day

Yesterday was mothers' day and it was special and a first for many things.
In the morning were the usual 'happy mothers' day' wishes and hugs. By 10 in the morning I was out doing grocery with Matthew. There I saw a young guy paying for a small bunch of flowers. Obviously for the mother. There I teased Matthew saying that I want one of those. He replied it was mothers' day and not wifes' day. Well what else was I expecting from him?.
Next we were suppose to have lunch as a family at taman petaling. A place that was economical with nice food plus the fact that Adrian has never been there. Especially so too when mother-in law was home and her assessment of food only goes by the price. Unfortunately, it was close, Maybe they too were celebrating mothers' day. Well off we go to Ipoh chiciken rice at Jalan Gasing. Good food and that was the first first ie Adrian paid the bill!. Thank you. It was 'sweet' chicken.
On the way back Adrian took the siblings to get a cake. Again a first. Bought a cake without Daddy's physical help. (he still get to give his opinion thro the phone though)
Come evening and the supper- cake- cutting time.Out came the present. Another first. Me and daddy didn't knpow when they bought the present. A beautiful quilting book. with the loud message that they are all cold at night! Hint Hint.
Finally the assessment of the day. Adrian spend nearly RM 200 on the day. Another first.Well that ends the day but the memories and the sweet note it touch will stay forever.
It was not the cake nor the hugs , the wishes or the present. It was the realisation that the kids have all grown up. Instead of daddy producing the show, they managed it all on their own. It was the way all 3 could work together to get the present, the way Adrian agrees to be the financer being the only one working. The way the two younger ones plan to get a book I like and just being together.
How I treasure these moments of being with them. A complete family. Thinking back on how it hurts when Adrian left for UK. How it felt like as if a limb of mine was torn off me. How I think of him every day counting the hours and the days. Thank you Lord for putting all of us together. This is worth all that it took. The laughter as they tease each other. The light arguements as they look into the welfare of each other. and just their very voices. I love you all ADrian, EDmond and Audrey. My precious.

busy,busy week

wow, it has been a week of happening.Starting Wednesday night, PIBG meeting, was in suspense if he will ask me to attend. 3 months in the school and I attended all 3 meetings without him!. Didn't start out with a good footing when among the first comments, the president said that the previous PK HEM was very helpful and he hopes that I could do just as much. Too refined to tell him off. I will do my best for the school as I seem best. Love the kids, do my best yes but not serve him or his committee.Afterall I am employed by the government to be a good administrator not paid by him to serve him!
Next on Thursday, meeting the parents of 2 classes on my own as he has to be away. Not too worry as I had never had problems with any parents in my long service as a teacher and an administrator. But I do know my human limitations and I pray for His guidance. Praise the Lord all went well. The parents were very good, cooperative and understanding.
One hour later presided the first curriculum meeting with the head of departments and subject head. Prepared ahead and prayed for His presence and guidance again. He didn't fail me. All present were happy. As a matter of fact, teachers came in to say they were impressed. They like the way I handled the problems brought out and how I did not waste time. One teacher (one whom I had very little communication with)even stopped me on the corridor and thank me saying that it was a powerful meeting. I had the teachers cooperation and all were happy.(well at least that was what I gathered from body language and comments)Thanks the Lord for being there for me. I know it was You who took over the meeting.
Today was staff meeting. Had to give a detailed taklimat on PATS and Headcount. Said prayer as I drove to school. Again He did not fail me. The message got across well and again I had praises from the teachers. The afternoon supervisor was glad I had a good understanding and could put all the things in place. Praise the Lord. I am sure it was Him again.
Now I had to prepare for Lower sixes entrance taklimat on tuesday. Another power point presentation!. I have a coordinator who keep reminding me to do a lot of things. Wanted very much to tell her I believe and can decide that those are her duties. After all not that it is a problem to me. I trust there is a reason why I should do it. Let Him show the way.
Tomorrow is mothers' day. Had an invitation to go to church with the famoly and have lunch. Won't be going because my faith is still not strong enough to be facing so called Christians yet. but that will be another blog.

sad note

today I couldn't wait anymore. I called JPS to enquire about the release letter from JPA. So sad to find out that the JPS has not even forward the letter to JPA because they haven't receive the release letter from BPR. Apparently, BPR send out the letter on the 20th of last month but JPS hasn't received it and they are still waiting. Earliest possible date will be 1.7.07. Lost all zest. At times like that, you wonder why it has to be like this. Maybe it is menopause mood change or it is just normal frustration. Either way I wonder why.

reunions 2

yesterday was the night for the 1967 kambings to get together after 23 years. Teachers like R, SH and PE were there. She was also there by last minute invitation.( if I knew she was coming I most probably would not have gone. Basically I am not that sociable to love gathering like that. What more to come face to face with her again. No hate , no anger but wouldn't miss it if I see her one time less.
Good to see R again. Happy that she is looking much better. I would like to devote one blog just to R later on.
Coincidentally, today's Star had an article one what comprises of 'success'. Is it monetary and material achievement ? Those boys who had set up their own companies or own practice were said to have done well. What about those who sat down at the back who are working in their own career but had a happy home? Those who don't own any companies but are just home every evening with their children? Girls who gave up their career to be full time mothers? Is it surprising that no one mentioned that they were successful? Isn't it sad? I would like to think that all of them and us are successful in our own way.I would like to think that if we could go through life making those we care for safe and happy: we are successful. If one can't help, at least don't hurt.To this I am so sad that in my last year of my career, I had been hurt so bad by so many who believe that if you can't help me up , at least let me push you down. I was pushed and I admitted defeat. I decide to leave.
Maybe it was stupid , maybe it wasn't the wisest decision but I just do not want to fight back. It is not my nature and I don't think I will feel any better if I won either.
So many have asked what are my plans after optional. No one seem to believe that I have no plans. I am supposed to be still so young, so capable, so full of energy. Everyone expects me to be bored because there is NOTHING to do. Well I do believe I still have the energy and the ability to work if it is meant to be. I would leave it to God to decide my path. If I am meant to contribute in the working force, I believe the door will open to me. If I am meant to give more quality time to the family, things too will fall into place too. My personal plans after retirement, that too will be another blog. So friends and family members, thanks for the concern but I am not too worried about life after optional . My immediate concern is the letter from JPA to officially release me.

reunions

This must be the season for reunions and meeting up friends. I have been meeting up old friends and picking up old links the last few months. The old girlfriends from form six have been meeting up as all of us approaches our 50th birthdays. We meet up at SF's birthday last year and this year for LS's 5oth. How time pass! It was just like yesterday when we were celebrating 21st birthdays. Apart from that it was nice to keep up on our family and career.
Next, form 5 classmates from Taman Petaling also met up last weekend. Of the 4 that sat down to chat, one is a CEO, one has her own business, the third is a single parent(full time housewife) while I am waiting anxiously to retire. Well 4 different world. sharing thoughts and news but without much linkage. Kinda of like small talk. Hopefully if we meet up more often, the link will be stronger.
This weekend, students who are touching 40 has called up for a reunion too. They started planning more than half a year before this so I couldn't possibly be unavailable! Well let's see how it will turn up.
On the individual scene, an old boy that has sailed into his forties has took the trouble to look me up. Strange to see his classmates photos with pot bellies and pictures of their children that are teenagers. I am yet to meet up with him in person. Once again waiting for some free time after my retirement before meeting up with him. It will be good to see his family and sit down for a chat.
As a teacher, this is one of the unmeasurable success. To be remembered fondly by so many students from all the years. To have so many of them coming to see you every new year; to have sms sharing thoughts, extending congratulations as I move up the line, be there to offer help comfort and a lending ear when they hear I wasn't well. No amount of Anugerah cemerlang and anjakkan can match up to it. As I leave the teaching profession, I can consider myself a success.