tonight is Sunday two days before my second try at chemo with a new regime. The last few nights has been waking up in fear. Meditating on his words. I wish I am strong and can go in with a brave front but I can't abba father.
I know you didn't give me a spirit of fear and I feel such a failure disappointing you. Forgive me lord.
It is just the time when I am beyond words. Lord, cover me. Cover me Jesus. Jesus jesus
I know Edmunds little tender heart as he hugs me, massage me, pack my medicine, hold my hands, console me. I have such a gentile son in him. He makes my bed and tuck me in. He sees to so many of my needs that I feel lost when he is not around. It is so unfair to Matthew and him but I can't change me feelings.
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