Next step

Today will be making a second attempt to see the oncologist. Going to inform her that I do not wish to cont with the chemotherapy
Obviously very nervous and troubled over it
Basing on every medical book, it is like telling the world I would like to live a few years less and I am walking on glass. If I try to look at the side effects, it is so frightening and nobody dares tell me that it won't be worst. If the last round is still not over, can I take the next round and heap on it.
I feel it in me that the Lord will heal me if I stop. I am to testify that h dis with me. But what if the feeling is wrong . What if I heard him wrong?. I am at peace but what if I am at peace due to human nature and not his peace
That is chemotherapy . What about the next step. The radiotherapy, the on e year infusions what am I suppos e to decide.
Prayed and prayed that I leave it to the Lord. That he will be there at the consultation storm and he will lead the discussion and he will make the decisions. Pray lord lord be there. Be there to lead the meeting and be my father abba to decide on the result. I really only want to strings that pleases you show ever frightening or wrong it is to others. I believe you will carry me through.
Lord lord once again, I cry out to you hear me in heaven, answer me and respond to me.
 I truly have faith that you have a plan for mr a plan to prosper me and not to harm me.oh lord I need the peace you promise and your strength to carry on
Lord lord lord father I can not think of calling out to you in Jesus name I pray amen