as the hours goes by

As the hours goes by, the mind wanders. Not that I want to think but it comes by.

Maybe I shouldn't have mess with the faith.maybe I should have just stay quiet. So it might have been bad but is my life any better now? It is beginning to felt like as if I am in a cult. Caught deep in it in the web of things that can't get out.

Stronger? Better? Highly doubtful. In the first place will I be around to see any changes what else if it is good? The number of days to the start of the journey felt like the number of days a convict counts before the death sentence.

Any use? No use, can I just crawl out of this? Can I just sleep it through but then maybe I will never wake up from it all.

And in all these, those who love me most is hurt most. Those who doesn't care either rejoice or couldn't be bother. I had punish those who love me. I am sorry. I did wrong.