Scenarios

• Child goes oversea to study. Towards the end of study, decided that course was not the one he wanted so decided to quit and rest for a period (probably running into months or years) before deciding further. In the meantime family just wait and pray.
• 
  Child went oversea to work. After an initial period of communication, stop all contacts with family. Family at a lost of what to do.
• 
  Child decides to take off after period of time to do non financial returning work for self satisfaction. Parents are expected to continue supporting them financially.
• 
  Child comes home to introduce his or spouse. FAmily to accept their sudden appearance and accept it.
• 
  Child came back bundling his or her spouse with children saying he or she needs financial aid from parent because of lost of income. Parents who were hoping for otherwise now has to continue slogging.

Scenes from Chinese drama? At least that was what I thought until one realizes that they are as real as the toothache you can have. As parents we used to read books after books to learn parenting skills when the child is young. Somewhere along the line we stopped. We forget that parenting never stops. So do we still continue getting the skills we need? Why have we stop learning? How do we assess our skills before we are dead and gone? Can we then at any time claim that we were good parents?
At what stage does the child take charge and be responsible for his or her own life? Is there a seminar or course to teach children about caring for the parents and putting them as part of their life? Where does their responsibilities lie or is it true that the question was never asked by them or worst still not expected of them?

I now understand why in the Chinese drama, the matriarch wants to go off to the temple to clear her mind through prayers to attain peace. I wish I could do that. At least if not at the temple just a peaceful quiet place. Maybe one can then hear the answers.