confusing thoughts

As 1 July approaches, I start to have mix feelings. It is 15 more days before I am officially a retiree.
The events that lead to this day have not been pleasant at all. It all started with unpleasant happenings with a new headmaster in the school and it blew up to an open confrontation. In my 28 years in teaching and dealing with students, parents, teachers HMs, nothing prepares me for the attack and the pain it caused. I have never met with one so …..(I don’t even have a polite word to describe her). From young, my parents taught us not to argue, quarrel and to push our way around. My mother and her mother have always believed that all things can be resolved thro polite discussion. Bottom line is, it was devastating and I had allowed it to totally break me down. It broke my emotion and it broke my spirit. It crashes my faith. Broken bones can be healed. Broken hearts requires time. My broken spirit, I really don’t know.
I found it so difficult to bring myself to school after that. I was receiving professional help but she was determined to break me further and finish me totally. I consoled myself by pretending it wasn’t intentional and it was due to other factors but deep down, I know otherwise. All that went on for 6 months. It was sheer torture mentally and psychologically and emotionally. Every morning was like waking up to another of torture and pain.
In the meantime, many things happened. I decided to put in my papers for optional retirement. The state department then decided to promote me and took me to another school. The second school was trying to retain their own staff thus not very happy with my appointment. In the words of the new HM, They have nothing against me but they just want their own staff. In the meantime, I was caught in the middle.
The only kind thing that happened was the ever strong support I had from my husband and children. He was about to change his job too when all these started to happen. He was going thro a lot of mixed emotions as he was much loved in his old place but he feel he need to move on. He took me along for his farewell meeting. The children were frightened not knowing what was happening and thank God, their studies were not too affected.
Going back to school was torturous and I remember praying for strength just to see me thro each day.
Finally, 4 months ago, all appeals were turn down and I had report to the new school. It didn’t start too well as the new school had to let go a senior teacher and take me in knowing very well I won’t be long. Even with that, things were getting better as the hate and tension were missing. At that point I was still keen to go thro the optional as I feel I was tired and the papers were already in.
Come May, the papers were delayed because the state level had to postpone my date from 1 June to 1 July.
As if the joke weren’t complete, the government has to announce a huge pay increase from 1 July causing me to lose RK20K in gratuity.
Finally now, I am so confused. Was I irrational and too selfish? Was I fair to the family in my decision? Should I have try harder? Should I allow her to destroy my passion? These questions and many others are swimming in my mind daily and hourly.