In the dark of the night, the feeling of fear.
The mixed feeling of praise, thanks then numbness
Why the feelings?
I asked and I pray.
I had to agree I am tired.
Tired of repetition.
Deja Vu.
This is not the first and I am sure it isn't the last.
I don't want to wonder, I
don't want to ponder.,
I am tired.
I want little
But maybe it is too much.
I want to rest
Just let it be.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Feelings
When you see someone sick, you feel sad,
When someone doesn't appreciate your good deed, you feel disappointed,
When you see a loved one disappointed, you only want to hug and console
When siblings fight, you pray that you will not be the parents,
When closed ones are sceptical of each other, you wish others will not worsen the situation,
When you are not suppose to butt in, you feel so helpless
When things go wrong one after another, you ask for patience
Oh what an assortment of feelings!
When someone doesn't appreciate your good deed, you feel disappointed,
When you see a loved one disappointed, you only want to hug and console
When siblings fight, you pray that you will not be the parents,
When closed ones are sceptical of each other, you wish others will not worsen the situation,
When you are not suppose to butt in, you feel so helpless
When things go wrong one after another, you ask for patience
Oh what an assortment of feelings!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Praise the Lord
Another long and tiring day. Oh My gosh, I can imagine some individuals' glare! A retired lady of leisure saying that!!!
While the renovations is going on, we have to be ready to go shopping with our renovation manager. We have been to tiles shops (I think ) three times, gone shopping for toilet fittings twice each lasting half a day, looked through endless designs for the kitchen cabinets, fittings, wardrobes, colour plates, endless trips to the library to get ideas, yam cha sessions with manager to discuss and finalise ideas. Not forgetting reading quotations and quotations and going through bank accounts to see where the finance is coming from.
Every time, I remember to say my thanks that hubby is retired and alongside to make decisions. I am so thankful too that at times when we are so tired and was saying 'whatever lah', my manager is still so dedicated going through suggestions after suggestions( until he himself forgets some ideas that we agreed upon) thinking through the night on what he should do (honestly, he mails us at 3 am and 5 am). Asked him if he ever sleeps, he said he go for power naps!
Colour plates has been flying through the emails too and he takes the trouble to show us houses he did in Melawati and Kota Damansara and send photos through his phones Many a time, hubby and me were ready to let him make the decisions and he still have energy to go on.Obviously it is his passion.
While all this is going on, I got interested in some investment ideas.I went into it as I always think that if I only live on my savings and fixed deposits interest, I can't even overcome the inflation rates what more survive! After all life is about taking some risks. After hubby retired, he was worried with my ideas and sat down to investigate and probe. Thank goodness, he too is won over. With that, we are busy minimum 2 to 3 days a week.
I too want to get back to my christian courses online which was interrupted when I was without Internet for more than a month.
Phew, I am tired but very very happy feeling blessed with His grace. I really really couldn't stop saying thanks and praising Him. Even when I couldn't sleep at night due to his snoring, I thank God for giving me my hubby! : ) Isn't it fantastic?
While the renovations is going on, we have to be ready to go shopping with our renovation manager. We have been to tiles shops (I think ) three times, gone shopping for toilet fittings twice each lasting half a day, looked through endless designs for the kitchen cabinets, fittings, wardrobes, colour plates, endless trips to the library to get ideas, yam cha sessions with manager to discuss and finalise ideas. Not forgetting reading quotations and quotations and going through bank accounts to see where the finance is coming from.
Every time, I remember to say my thanks that hubby is retired and alongside to make decisions. I am so thankful too that at times when we are so tired and was saying 'whatever lah', my manager is still so dedicated going through suggestions after suggestions( until he himself forgets some ideas that we agreed upon) thinking through the night on what he should do (honestly, he mails us at 3 am and 5 am). Asked him if he ever sleeps, he said he go for power naps!
Colour plates has been flying through the emails too and he takes the trouble to show us houses he did in Melawati and Kota Damansara and send photos through his phones Many a time, hubby and me were ready to let him make the decisions and he still have energy to go on.Obviously it is his passion.
While all this is going on, I got interested in some investment ideas.I went into it as I always think that if I only live on my savings and fixed deposits interest, I can't even overcome the inflation rates what more survive! After all life is about taking some risks. After hubby retired, he was worried with my ideas and sat down to investigate and probe. Thank goodness, he too is won over. With that, we are busy minimum 2 to 3 days a week.
I too want to get back to my christian courses online which was interrupted when I was without Internet for more than a month.
Phew, I am tired but very very happy feeling blessed with His grace. I really really couldn't stop saying thanks and praising Him. Even when I couldn't sleep at night due to his snoring, I thank God for giving me my hubby! : ) Isn't it fantastic?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mothers' Day
When I first became a mother, my husband celebrated mothers' day for me. I remember him writing on a card telling me that my son is still young. One day, when the children are older they will celebrate mothers' day for me and thus he can go into the background for the day.
Fast forward a quarter of a century, today I have three children age 27, 24 and 21.So how did I celebrate mothers' day this year? My second child who has just got his first salary wanted to 'surprise ' me with a bouquet of flowers. Being a practical mother, and a 'too smart' one, I didn't want him to spend so much especially when I don't even have a vase to put the flowers in my temporary home now (so say daddy...... he hasn't faded into the background) So daddy bought a cake on the son's behalf and we shot down to Muar since the son from Muar couldn't come back to KL due to work commitments.
Eldest boy paid for lunch and dinner ( so daddy save the day's food bill. ha ha ha . I guess he faded off in that sense)
The youngest is studying in UK so obviously, at best she could only be on skype. What more with her finals on next week. It was good that she could even give us the half an hour when I cut the cake.
So how is today compared to the same day approximately 25 years ago? I loved the children, hugged them and kiss them as much as I did all through the years. I loved without reservations and I am as proud of them as I was 25 years ago. I thank God for the three of them and I enjoyed and treasured all the days and minutes I have with them. I was well aware of the empty nest syndrome even as far back as 5 years ago.
As any mother does, I went through their ups and downs and sat for every exams they went through. and felt the pain and disappointments with them as well as their happiness.
Today, though I love them so very much, I had to remind myself to let go of them as they spread their wings.I shouldn't and can't cuddle them as they cross every barrier but could only pray a mother's prayer more and more fervently.I need to not suffocate them but rather look calm while I tear my hair out. (What a skill!)
I guess with those thoughts in mind, I couldn't stand up at church today when they honour mothers. Without them by my side I am not a mother. I am just a lady who brought up 3 kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers at all stages of your life.
Fast forward a quarter of a century, today I have three children age 27, 24 and 21.So how did I celebrate mothers' day this year? My second child who has just got his first salary wanted to 'surprise ' me with a bouquet of flowers. Being a practical mother, and a 'too smart' one, I didn't want him to spend so much especially when I don't even have a vase to put the flowers in my temporary home now (so say daddy...... he hasn't faded into the background) So daddy bought a cake on the son's behalf and we shot down to Muar since the son from Muar couldn't come back to KL due to work commitments.
Eldest boy paid for lunch and dinner ( so daddy save the day's food bill. ha ha ha . I guess he faded off in that sense)
The youngest is studying in UK so obviously, at best she could only be on skype. What more with her finals on next week. It was good that she could even give us the half an hour when I cut the cake.
So how is today compared to the same day approximately 25 years ago? I loved the children, hugged them and kiss them as much as I did all through the years. I loved without reservations and I am as proud of them as I was 25 years ago. I thank God for the three of them and I enjoyed and treasured all the days and minutes I have with them. I was well aware of the empty nest syndrome even as far back as 5 years ago.
As any mother does, I went through their ups and downs and sat for every exams they went through. and felt the pain and disappointments with them as well as their happiness.
Today, though I love them so very much, I had to remind myself to let go of them as they spread their wings.I shouldn't and can't cuddle them as they cross every barrier but could only pray a mother's prayer more and more fervently.I need to not suffocate them but rather look calm while I tear my hair out. (What a skill!)
I guess with those thoughts in mind, I couldn't stand up at church today when they honour mothers. Without them by my side I am not a mother. I am just a lady who brought up 3 kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers at all stages of your life.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Last two months
Definitely a long absence. Have since moved out of the house, renovations started and looking menacing. Son has graduated with a MBBS and has started work in Muar.
In the last two plus months, emotions and feelings went up and down, worry, happy, concern, comforted, exasperated and settled.
Moving house is not a simple activity what more when it is only for six months thereafter will be going back to a renovated house.Decisions, selections and more decisions and selections.Thank God I had Him and hubby to share the roller coaster ride.
Next read the pastor's book. Felt I knew him better but didn't gave me the comfort I need even though it brought some calm.
Next one is in hospital, one so sick, another down with dengue, yet another with complains and all the negative s with it. Praise the Lord for the peace I still have with all these. The marvel of His love and protection. Prayers help and the comfort of His presence after commiting everything to Him.
In the last two plus months, emotions and feelings went up and down, worry, happy, concern, comforted, exasperated and settled.
Moving house is not a simple activity what more when it is only for six months thereafter will be going back to a renovated house.Decisions, selections and more decisions and selections.Thank God I had Him and hubby to share the roller coaster ride.
Next read the pastor's book. Felt I knew him better but didn't gave me the comfort I need even though it brought some calm.
Next one is in hospital, one so sick, another down with dengue, yet another with complains and all the negative s with it. Praise the Lord for the peace I still have with all these. The marvel of His love and protection. Prayers help and the comfort of His presence after commiting everything to Him.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Butter Cookies
Butter cookies
345 g SCS butter (1 1/2 slab of 250 g) 250 g
8 oz plain flour 150 g
8 oz corn flour 150 g
4 oz icing sugar 75 g
Cream butter and sugar, fold in flour,piped out
Bake in 180 for 20 minutes
345 g SCS butter (1 1/2 slab of 250 g) 250 g
8 oz plain flour 150 g
8 oz corn flour 150 g
4 oz icing sugar 75 g
Cream butter and sugar, fold in flour,piped out
Bake in 180 for 20 minutes
- use good buttery butter
- blend sugar and butter well
- use cups for easy handling
- add vanilla to get rid of flour smell
- pinch of salt is optional
Choc Chip Macadamia Cookies
Recipe for choc chip macadamia cookies
125 g butter
110 g soft brown sugar
3/4 tsp vanilla essence
1 egg
195 g plain flour
3/4 tsp bic of soda
1/4 tsp salt
85 g choc chip
50 g nuts chopped coarsely
Blend butter and sugar. Add ingredients one by one ending with chips and nuts when you just mix
Drop spoonful on tray Bake at 180 till lightly brown or 25 minutes.(average size cookies)
#had used icing sugar before when no brown sugar available.
# sugar amount can be reduced by 10 to 20 g
#used baking powder instead of bic of soda but increase to 1 1/4 tsp
# chips and nuts have always increased to much more than mentioned at the request of children (for chips) and hubby(for nuts)
125 g butter
110 g soft brown sugar
3/4 tsp vanilla essence
1 egg
195 g plain flour
3/4 tsp bic of soda
1/4 tsp salt
85 g choc chip
50 g nuts chopped coarsely
Blend butter and sugar. Add ingredients one by one ending with chips and nuts when you just mix
Drop spoonful on tray Bake at 180 till lightly brown or 25 minutes.(average size cookies)
#had used icing sugar before when no brown sugar available.
# sugar amount can be reduced by 10 to 20 g
#used baking powder instead of bic of soda but increase to 1 1/4 tsp
# chips and nuts have always increased to much more than mentioned at the request of children (for chips) and hubby(for nuts)
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