When my eldest left home for further studies, I literary felt as if my arm was pulled off my body. It was the kind of pain that I have no words to describe. I guess only a mother will know.The songs that was played on the radio every morning as I drove to work seems to be directed to the separation and an intentional stab to the heart. The first year was bad. The second year was directed to preparing for the Christmas trip to Europe so the countdown was smaller in number. Following that, it was preparing for the convocation trip so things moved faster again. I survived it.
When the second left the nest, it was bad but the pain was not stabbing as I get to see him every weekend. I seldom have to count beyond all the fingers on one hand before I get to hug him again Plus the fact that skype has improved so much more and I have 2 others children whose life is evolving very fast.
Next was my baby's turn.This time round, she has 2 ko ko to see to many things like giving all the pep talk about staying away from home, the feelings that will creep in, safety, staying with others, food, banking details, what and how to pack,computer needs and even details like how to dry the clothing so that it doesn't creases! Though youngest, she is tough, strong, wise, sensible, independent, matured, all round well equipped. In many ways, I had to admit I wouldn't be more equipped myself if I had to leave home today. By all reasoning, I should be most prepared to let her go. But underneath all that,one can't being a mother. At times, the feelings and pain creeps in.
And all these make me think of 2 things
First is the realisation of how my mother must have felt when I married and had to leave her behind.
Next understanding what the bible meant by 'God so love the world that He gave His one and only son .'
That's a lot to think about on a day I told myself to sit back and relax.
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