Yesterday we completed a hongkie drama that showed the worst side of children who were looking out for the widowed mother's money and discarding her to start their own life, a teenage son who can't communicate with a single parent father, a daughter in law having problems living with the elderly parents, nosy neighbors that worsen situations, overprotective seniors and more. I didn't like the show at first because it is so negative with no good guys at all. I always felt that life has enough negative vibes without having to be reminded of it while relaxing! However towards the end, I realized that it brings forth many thoughts as it is a very real life situation apart from the high density of poor side of us and its dramatization .
I thus begin to wonder
1. As parents, did we make a conscious effort to teach our children about being grateful , appreciation of little things, tolerance, handling differences, seeing things from another's point of view
2. Do we stay quiet, quietly reflecting when things go wrong, reexamine ourselves and our behavior .
3. Do we realize that when an in law moved in with you, it means a lot of adjustment on all sides but that is why love and respect must exist to overcome. Anyway that is a big part of marriage. Marriage is not the ceremonial day with ribbons, fun and a banquet. It is about sharing a life together, finding a balance and much more. Parents has a role today in letting go, children has a responsibility to care for the old.
4. Wives need to find an identity for themselves, help to keep a family to gather and submit to the one you love. On the other hand, a husband role is to provide not forgetting balance work with home and his family.
5. When things go wrong were we thought to look inwards and not always outwards?
And many more.
I had to admit I didn't consciously and formally taught my children and my students the values but I hope my being me had influenced them to be a better person. Don't take things wholesale, reflect, if my contributions is positive, remember it, use it. Otherwise, do discard the negative and make yourselves a better person than me.
It is time for us to realise that formal education and the society around us might not be the influence we want for ourselves. We need to learn to analyse, extract and discard appropriately especially when influence is far and wide.
