What goes through your head when you are told that you need an operation and that the big 'C' is a possibility?
Well the first half an hour your mind will not be thinking much because you need the time to absorb the news. How true is it and does it have any link to other ailments that you have been having.Then you start thinking why it came to that stage especially when you have never thought of it as a solution. Then you wonder why doctors never break this kind of news gently instead of just saying, well that is the only way out , don't think too long and I am sorry but that's that ....all in the same sentence and same number of words.
Next you begin to think what if the worst scenario comes true. That is normally after 2 hours.Then you wonder if you are ready to face it, You start asking yourself what you need to do , what are the thinks you have not completed, what you should say and to who. With today's technology you can always prepare all the speeches you want to make for the next 30 years and save it up in the computer. Wonderful isn't it?
Then you wonder who to talk to about it. You then realise that a lot of people came under the category of.... don't want them to know, would not react even if you tell them, will panic you further, will not have the time to pacify you and that makes you even more mad and lastly don't need them to know. In the end you most probably be telling the passer you meet or the odd guy you bump into on the way home.
Next you try to count your blessings that it may have been worst if it had happened 15 years ago. But still no body is ever ready to just go. Face it, short of ending severe pain, who would want to go.
A few hours later then you decide that It is your life, it is your operation so you better start thinking positively about it. Getting a second opinion, do you want to go through with it, what are the risks involved, where would you want to do it, what other professionally opinion are you seeking.
Then you start thinking may be there is a God and that tonight He is going to perform a miracle and all will be fine tomorrow morning. And then you know it is time to stop thinking .
2 comments:
Ouch...I guess having any condition, ANY at all, from the simplest flu to the big 'C' is cause for concern.
But the greatest thing about living in 2009 is that a majority of conditions already have solutions, and there are many for yours too.
To put things into perspective, it can be viewed as a pesky 'flu' to get through.
At the same time, there is definitely the emotional aspect to deal with...the insecurity, the possibility of pain, the fragileness (if such a word exists heh) of life.
You're strong. I know you. Reading your thoughts, you've won half of the battle already =)
My prayers and thoughts are with you. 1 Peter 1:7 says, The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God. You will pray too, and He will hear you.
The closer we are to God, the more He will test us, so, give thanks in all circumstances, for it is His will for you in Jesus Christ.
Love and hugs always =)
there are ups and there are downs.when one is down, one needs an up to pull u. When one is up one should offer a hand to those who are down. Thanks for the hand
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